Catalogs, I get catalogs...

...and sometimes they have stuff in 'em that make you go, "What the HECK?"

Here's one. This is from Acorn, which is sort of an Anglophile catalog. They are offering editions of three well-known works where they can substitute in your name...or names of people in your family - to up to a certain number of characters in the book.

(They had books like that when I was a little kid. They were frankly pretty crappy, or at least the couple I had were. Not well written at all and once you got past the novelty of seeing your name and your pet's name in the story, it was kind of MEH.)

The three classic works currently on offer are

Pride and Prejudice.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

AND

Romeo and Juliet.

That was the one that made me truly go "WTF." Because, if I remember correctly, the catalog copy seemed to hint that these would make nice romantic gifts.

I have not read Romeo and Juliet, I admit it. But it's kind of hard not to know the story in our culture.

THE TWO LEADS DIE AT THE END!!!!

Doesn't it seem a little creepy to you, to have your name and the name of your SO subbed in for R and J, knowing that he will drink poison and she will stab herself?

Or is it the kind of thing you have made up as a "Fatal Attraction" gift for a lover who has spurned you?

I don't know, but if I see that sort of thing promoted as a Valentine's Day present, I will know there are some very stupid people in this world.

(And the others: it feels kind of banal, and perhaps heretical, to me to have, say, "Brittany" and "Josh" take the place of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.)