An issue of pride

This is something I wonder about, and something that worries me a little.

I had a relative. He could, technically, have gone on disability, because of an injury he suffered on the job. But he resisted for many years, because, "A man should be able to support his family." He did what work he could, and filled in when he couldn't work by doing things like raising rabbits. (And his wife had an extensive garden). And I had other relatives who were pretty desperately poor, and yet hated taking the "government handouts" and only did so (as a relative of mine who was blind and had limited mobility because of having suffered two badly broken legs when younger) when there was no other option.

So I worry when I hear whispers about things like landscapers in Michigan choosing to collect unemployment rather than work.

And I was concerned earlier this spring when I read news stories about college students going on food stamps - not so they could eat, but so they could eat a higher quality of food. (I will say: I do have some students who probably have a valid reason for going on food stamps, if they are on them. I teach in an "underserved" area where we've had chronic poverty - well, pretty much since this place was settled by Europeans). But it irritates me to think of kids buying duck breast and arugula on the taxpayer's dime, because hamburger and Ramen is too downmarket for them.

(I ate a lot of rice and beans as a college student. They're cheap, they're fairly nutritious, they're filling. I also figured out that the local farmers market would sell small quantities of vegetables usually for a better price than the small overpriced grocery I had to shop at - because I didn't have a car. Because I felt it was to expensive to have to pay to park a car where I lived.)

There really is something (or maybe, WAS) to having pride. I've read stories of churches having to figure out really 'sensitive' ways of getting food help to families who needed it - because they'd be prone to turn down what they saw as "charity." And as I said, my relative's claim that "A man should be able to support his family" was something that was just sort of instilled in me growing up - that you, as much as you could, pulled your own weight. If times were tough, you managed. Government help was an absolute last resort.

If someone had suggested to me as a college student that I could "eat better" by obtaining food stamps (I have no idea if I would have been eligible; the idea never occurred to me), I would have had two reactions:

1. "No. That money needs to be saved for people who really need it, like the people in Appalachia who have nothing."

2. "What are you saying? That I can't budget and take care of myself?"

For the first three years of my college education, I depended on money my grandparents had left me. I kind of hated it; I felt like every "frivolous" purchase was taking money that was designated for my education - and I also worried, if I did something like bought a big stack of books, "Might I not regret this later, if the money runs out?"

Fortunately, it did not. But when I started as a teaching assistant, and I got paid, it was a giant relief. I remember how good it felt that first month, to go pick up my paycheck (they had an odd little quirk: even if you wanted direct deposit, your very first paycheck had to be picked up in person), deposit it, and then know that the bills I had to pay would be paid with money I earned my own self.

I still feel that way: sort of a mixture of pride and gratitude, when I write out the check every month for the electricity or the water or whatever, knowing that I am supporting myself, that it is my work that keeps a roof over my head and food on my table. Sure, I gripe about bills as much as the next person, but to me, it's a tremendous relief to know I have enough money to pay them, and that money is money I earned.

So I worry: is the encouragement - they actually talked about it as "removing the stigma" - of college students going on food stamps a problem? I mean, on the one hand, too much stigma can be a problem: as in some of my relatives who didn't take advantage of some of the Medicaid services they could have until they got really sick. But totally removing the stigma - making people feel that it's perfectly ok to suck at the government teat - and in fact, make it seem like you're a chump if you work (as in the case of the landscapers in Michigan: apparently they get more by staying on unemployment than they would earn if they worked). I know there are some folks who believe this is all a ploy to get everyone dependent on the government. (But if everyone is being paid by the government, where will the money to do that come from?)

(And if someone makes more on unemployment than they can earn in a day, something's wrong and the laws need to change: maybe there be a gradual step-down of benefits as a person gets back on their feet. But I've often heard that people won't take entry level jobs because it's actually financially "better" for them to stay on welfare or unemployment. That needs to change, somehow.)

I don't know. Does it seem to anyone else that the old idea of "pride," and being self-supporting is slowly going away, replaced by more of a "what can I get for myself, and how I get it be damned" mentality?