some little news

Depending on some little news I get next week, this blog may or may not be going away. I've been invited to a meeting with a higher-up and while it's almost certainly nothing related to my online activity, still, now, I'm worried. I don't expect a cease-and-desist, but one never knows. I tried to anonymize as much as possible and be positive as much as possible. I really hope my keeping this blog won't come back to bite me; it's hard for me to tell how much I have to censor my personal life and how much freedom I have. And I still fear that Permanent Record. You know, the Permanent Record that everything you do wrong is supposed to go on when you're in school?

So I don't know. I admit I briefly considered deleting the blog altogether but if the problem is the blog, the damage has been done and deleting it will just be a useless move.

I think (I hope) the meeting is one of two things: a post-mortem of the promotion process (successful for me) of the past year, or a discussion of some of the shake-ups that are happening in my department (for one thing, our chair has decided to step down).

I would hope if a student had filed a complaint or something about me, I'd have heard of it before now, that I wouldn't go in and be totally blindsided by the problem, because it seems that would not be fair. And the fact that the message said the person would "like" to meet with me - not that I need to meet with them - and that a range of dates to meet were given (and not a "you must be in here at this time on this day), I hope that means it's something innocuous.

I don't know. I won't rest easy until the meeting though.

Upon further thought: A lot of the really "bad" things, I think I'd receive some kind of warning letter first. If it were a student complaint against me, I'd think I'd get some prior notification so I could plan a defense (and also, I don't think this particular higher-up would be involved). If it were internet usage stuff...well, I'd think a letter would be sufficient. (Though then again - and here's where my brain defeats me so badly - I'm thinking, "maybe they want to avoid too much of a paper trail."). If it were most bad things, I think my immediate supervisor would be talking to me about it first? Maybe it's nothing bad after all and I will be worrying for nothing.

But golly, it would be nice to be told what the meeting would be about. I'm sure not being told was an oversight/timesaver thing, but it still makes me worry.