Thank God.

So it was a humor piece after all. I kinda thought it was hinky.

(And thanks, North Denver News, for your "I'm smarter than you, haw-haw." It just goes to show how corrupted the news has become, that a humor piece is run in what is assumed to be a serious newspaper, and people, being used to stories of "extreme makeovers," fall for it, and then the newspaper basically preens itself on being too smart for the room. Egad, how I hate the modern climate of snark and "nothing is serious or sacred.")

Oh, and nice slam at Fox News there. I think the real "faux" news is your paper, folks.

I don't know. It irritates me that we live in a world where (a) we're so inured to the sort of stupid self-mutilating things people do to themselves that we don't immediately see through a story like this and (b) that a newspaper thinks it's really funny and clever for having suckered people.

Boy who cried "Wolf," much?

(I will say, in my defense, as I was driving out for my day's errands, I did think about the story and was caught up short - "how can they 'remove and replace' a person's fingernails? They're a growing tissue from a nailbed and screwing with the nailbed will make the nail stop growing. It's gotta be a fake." Other than that - well, what do they expect, that we're all knowledgeable about the fine anatomy of the hand? I mean, I'm a biologist (but not a human physiologist) and I have only a dim comprehension of how all the tendons and muscles interconnect.)

No.. No no no no NO no no!

Ken's got a little contest going over what to rename the iPhone in the face of some truly moronic behavior regarding it.

Now, I posted my entries before I clicked on the link. I figured it was some kind of typical stupid cell phone behavior - like someone talking all the way through a funeral service or something.

Nope. They are having their bodies SURGICALLY ALTERED to better use the damn things.

Dear God, no! No no no no no no no no no no no no no NO! Aaaaaugh! No! Wrong! The guy gets himself surgically altered so he can better use a flipping PHONE?

Oh, every part of my body that can cringe or pucker is cringing and puckering right now. I am actually vaguely nauseated, thinking of it.

Seriously - I hope that turns out to be a story from The Onion. I can't help but think it MUST be an Onion story, not just from lines like,

"While Martel's new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift "pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery - though opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise.""

...but also from the sheer horror of what he actually had done (disclaimer: I am very medical-averse. I'd rather use a home-remedy or live with a problem - like, I have arthritis in one ankle that I've been told could be helped a little by cortisone shots - than submit to whatever pain). But, ew. I think even non-medical-averse people would be a little creeped out.

(Because, if it's real, you KNOW in 10 years there will be subtle and not-so-subtle pressure in the workplace to have that surgery, or others, done to "boost productivity."

Here's a thought: why not re-engineer the DEVICES to work better with HUMANS, instead of re-engineering HUMANS to fit better with DEVICES?)

Oh, that idea - that someone would have the surgery and that a doctor would willingly do it - is wrong on so many levels to me. It's like the women who get their feet shaved down so they can fit better into their Jimmy Choos.

potential prof?

I know I gripe from time to time on here about the "bad" students (who are really more often the students-with-a-massive-sense-of-entitlement or students-who-want-to-go-through-life-doing-the-absolute-bare-
minimum). But I also have to celebrate the good ones.

I'm working with a research student right now on a project. We've decided to expand the project into the fall - because of some interesting results and because we couldn't optimally design the original experiment.

We did the last bits of the summer research today and he talked to me a little about his plans.

He's been in one of my classes - earned an A. In fact, he was one of those above-and-beyond people: on essay questions on the exam, instead of merely parroting the book or lecture examples, he suggested examples that were just as appropriate but DIFFERENT - ones that came from his other classes or his reading. (Anyone who can synthesize rather than compartmentalize their knowledge is going to go far.)

He is also the kind of person who always has a book in his hand - not that there's necessarily anything so superior about avid readers, but what that says to me is that he's someone who likes to make use of "down" time, like time spent waiting or the slack time between classes.

(He's also - I guess it might help to give a mental picture - a BIG guy. I mean both tall and large. Think of Hagrid with a better haircut and a U.S. accent and you've pretty much got him.)

Anyway, today he was talking about his future plans - his wife wants to be a teacher of disabled kids (I suggested a place she could maybe do an internship; he wasn't familiar with them but said he'd suggest she look into it). He said, "Eventually I want to get a Ph.D. and teach college biology."

And you know? I think he could do it. I think he'd be good at it. He's got the patience and the curiosity and the tolerance for slowly crunching through data.

"Yeah," I responded sort of quietly, "It's a good life."

"Yeah, it seems like it would be." was his response. (And he added that he really liked doing research. I'm glad I had a project he could work on, and I'm glad it's turning out to be something worthwhile. I hope in another year or so I'm writing grad-school recommendations for this guy.)

I encouraged him to looking into becoming a UTA (and I could definitely use him in Ecology as a TA), and I gave him a few other quick pointers towards continuing on the "right path."

So, even though there are some people here who think they should get an A solely because they managed to drag themselves to class 75% of the time out of the year, even though there are people who skip doing multiple homeworks and then ask me "What are YOU going to do about this?" as regards their D, there are also people that I look at and go, "Yeah, you are the next generation. When it comes time for me to retire, I will be able to."

Back to School

I'm making my syllabi today for the fall.

And I'm thinking about Back to School. When I was a kid, much more than any day in January, Back to School symbolized the start of a New Year.

(And, interestingly - just like January being named for Janus, the two-faced god that looks ahead and looks back - the Back to School new year was a time of mixed feelings. On one hand, I was eager to get back into a schedule, to start learning again, to have the fresh slate symbolized by new school supplies. But on the other hand, it was HARD to leave behind the freedom of summer for the regimentation of school. Even for a kid that, like me, enjoyed school).

The back-to-school ads usually started (IIRC) in August (in the district I was in growing up, we didn't start back to school until after Labor Day - which seems like a sane practice to me. Where I live now, the kids started back to school TODAY. Yes, the schools are air-conditioned and all, but it doesn't feel right to me for school to start in August. Especially so early in August).

There were a couple of back-to-school shopping trips: one, to the mall (this would have been Chapel Hill mall in - I guess it would have been Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio? Somewhere like that. All I know was in that day, "the mall" meant Chapel Hill.) We'd go to Penneys (or somewhere like that) for clothes, and Miller's for shoes.

I remember getting a new pair of jeans and a new pair of cords and maybe a new top. Sometimes, some years (especially when I was younger and less conformist), my parents would buy me a dress or jumper to wear. (And some years my mom made my back-to-school dress. I appreciated that when I was a kid, but once I got older - conformism again - I didn't appreciate it so much any more. And it wasn't that it was badly made or anything - my mom is an expert seamstress - it's just, it wasn't what the other kids were wearing).

And then it was time for the shoes.

It's funny, but I don't remember having worn tennis shoes (which is what we mostly called them) to school much as a kid. I usually had some kind of lace-up or loafer type shoe - I don't remember now if it was because my doctor warned my parents that my "flat feet" needed more support, or if the schools didn't allow tennis shoes outside of gym, or if it just wasn't the fashion (this was fifteen years before Air Jordans....Keds were about the only brand out there, except for Adidas, which were 'rich kid' shoes).

Buying shoes seemed like kind of a ritualized process. First, there was the Brannock device, to measure how much my feet had grown. Then there was a lot of debate - with some input from me - on "what shoes should she have." Finally, the young man got the shoes out, put them on me, had me stand up, and then he began an arcane process of poking the toes and feeling the fit. (I was a difficult-to-fit kid - I had very narrow heels and frequently the process of "breaking in" shoes for me included getting massive blisters on my heels). I was made to walk around the store while the grown-ups debated on whether my feet were "slipping" or not.

Finally, when the right size was found, they were paid for, and we got to go home. No trip by the toy store, no movie, but once in a while a stop for ice cream or some other treat. (I don't think I'm alone in remembering that pretty much the only times I got toys as a kid were Christmas, my birthday, and if I saved up my allowance long enough to buy what I wanted...I'm always amazed at how for some of my friends, every trip out with their kid ends in them buying a toy.)

The second trip was for school supplies. I guess we bought these at the local Acme-Click, or maybe the Gold Circle. One of those kinds of stores - kind of a proto-Wal-Mart, with cheap stuff stacked deep.

I don't think the school-supplies lists were quite as detailed when I was a kid as they are now - I've seen lists lately that even specify BRANDS. (I do remember, however, being told how many crayons - what size package - to get. I guess they didn't want some kids lording it over others, with their 96 crayons to the other kids' 16.)

There were the infamous Trapper Keepers (I think those came in when I was about 10). Pencils, erasers, those weird plasticky zippered pouches to keep them in.

Folders. I remember when I was 9 and 10, the only kind of folders I wanted were the plain, solid-colored kind: they were made out of a heavy cardstock, kind of like oaktag, with a matte finish. I had found - sort of by accident - that these folders were great for drawing on with pencils. So I made my OWN decorated folders. (Again - when I got older, not so cool, and I got the plain red-and-white or blue-and-white Trapper Keeper folders like everyone else). But when I was a kid, still, I loved being able to design my own folders. See, I had a series of humanized animals I used to draw - a couple of them (Mimi the rabbit and Cleo the cat) were like animal versions of fashion models - so I drew them on my folders, wearing fabulous outfits I designed for them. (And I thought I had the coolest folders in the school. Fortunately, none of the kids in my class that year had yet reached the point where they thought it would be cool to point out to me that they thought I was wrong.)

I also remember saving the Sunday funnies to make book covers. Except they didn't last as well as the book covers made out of grocery bags, which my parents used for book covers also. (I drew on those, too.)

The best part was buying the supplies for Art class - I used to kind of vibrate with excitement as I read the list, thinking about all the fun things we'd do in Art that year. (And - needing a big old shirt of my dad's for the class - well, that could ONLY mean we were going to get to work with clay.)

And then there was going to school to find out your homeroom and your teacher - the suspense. Were you going to get the "cool teacher" or the "mean teacher"? Which of your friends would be in your class? (I found out, much later, that one year my parents and my best friend's parents colluded to go to the principal and ask that we not be placed in the same homeroom - the same teaching team even - they were afraid we'd talk in class and get in trouble. They were probably right, but I was mad at them for that.)

The first day of school was a big day - oh, kids complained about it, but secretly I was excited. I always dressed up - when I was "little" it was in my new dress or jumper, with ribbons in my hair. When I was in junior high, it was in my most acceptable pair of jeans (this was the first wave of designer jeans and so you had to be very careful about brands: Lee or Levis were acceptable, Jordache or Gloria Vanderbilts were exceptionally good, store brands or Wranglers or some other "cheap" brand was basically a "kick me" sign*) and my coolest t-shirt.

(*It strikes me, that in supposedly class-unconscious Middle America, we had VERY rigid codes - almost a U and non-U sort of situation. Unfortunately, those of us with frugal parents were pretty much doomed to be non-U, because the whole class issue hinged on how you dressed.)

It was exciting - even despite worries about having the right jeans or whether you got the "mean" teacher or whether you wound up in something other than the top reading group...it was the start of a new year, with new books, and new, unchewed pencils, and new, unwritten-in notebooks.

I still feel a little bit of that now, even though I really don't do back-to-school shopping (I don't need any new jeans - I didn't grow any this last year [thank goodness]), and I still have pens and notepads left over from last year, and I reuse the "instructor copies" of texts until they fall apart or until the publisher revises and sends out new copies.

I just hope I'm not seen as the "mean teacher." (Or worse, the "dumb teacher.")

stupid spam knows no boundaries!!!

So, it's not a Friday Stupid Spam. But this seems to be the Week of Spam (maybe someone, somewhere, is on vacation)? And I have two stupid ones.

1. "Let me show you how far the rabbit hole goes" - I have received this subject line multiple times.

I do not think I want to know what it pertains to. Alice in Wonderland? "Rabbit hole" as a euphemism? Are they peddling some kind of supposedly mind-altering drugs? Are they referring to Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit?"

And here's how I'm a pedant: one of the first things I thought was, "But New World rabbits don't DIG holes....they scratch out shallow nests in the earth." (It's true - it's the Old World rabbits - European hares and their kin - that build the big deep warrens. American rabbits are basically surface-dwellers. Yeah, I hate to say it, but Bugs may have had some Frenchie roots...)

But, from the mysterious to the comic:

2. "My boyfriend's tool keeps slipping out!" Another subject line I've received more than once.

Well, honey, I have just one suggestion for you: save the hot wings until AFTER the boyfriend finishes building your entertainment center. Then he won't drop the hammer because of greasy fingers.

Also, the promise of food LATER often gets jobs done FASTER. I'm just sayin'.

And, for that matter - if you're so critical of your BF's building techniques, maybe you could, you know, help him? Hand him nails and stuff? I can't stand it when people complain about how someone's doing something when they've never lifted a finger to help...

Only slightly dumber than Ken*....

Am-I-Dumb.com - Are you dumb?

....but then again, I haven't lived for quite as long. (I got all the questions correct but it took me 3 minutes and 36 seconds to get there, mainly because I dithered a bit about the "average male height" one...I know an AWFUL lot of short guys (more than half the guys I work with are shorter than I am, and I'm 5'8").)


I guess I dithered on the Paris Hilton one too, because I was kind of wondering if it was a joke/trick answer, like the correct answer being "where she made her sex tape." But I decided it was best not to try to out-think the question, considering question #2 on the quiz....

(*And that .2% might not even be statistically significant, but I don't have a big enough sample size to test...)

for Joel

(For some reason haloscan won't let me comment right now)

It probably wasn't (expletive deleted) poison ivy that did me in. I did see a tiny bit of it, but was very cautious (gloves and plastic baggie) getting rid of it.

I'm betting it was actually trumpet creeper, a/k/a "cow itch," that caused the rash. Apparently a very few unlucky individuals are sensitive to it - I knew that, but I figured I wasn't one of them, 'cos I'd messed with it before with no troubles. But the danged stuff is invading my yard (along with greenbriar, Virginia creeper [which lots of people mistake for poison ivy, but it isn't], and some kind of hideous wild grapevine that strangles everything but doesn't have the decency to produce edible grapes).

There are actually about 15 different plants that grow around here that can cause contact dermatitis in some segments of the population. I guess from now on I just have to assume I'm in that segment, no matter how small.

Or, heck, it could be anything. It's high pollen season here, coupled with the molds from the rainy spring, and my immune system is so ramped up that it's probably going to react at just about anything. (I'm actually afraid of eating tree nuts, peanuts, shellfish, or eggs right now - I don't want to bring on an instant food allergy).

I'm seriously thinking of napalming my backyard and just starting over from scratch. I've heard xeriscaping - mostly rocks with a few scattered cactus - is hot right now.

All I know is that it's no fun waking up with one eye nearly swollen shut, and stuff on my face that makeup won't cover up, and itchy red scratches on my neck, and itchy patches in other unmentionable places on my torso...And I'm not looking to go to the doctor; they will want to give me prednisone or a steroid shot and I'm already in a bad enough mood.

Argh

I hate it when information is supposed to be out there, but isn't.

A co-author is asking me to look up some particular geographic information on a project that we're working on. Well, I try the various GIS files I have - nothing there. I try finding a link to a file online - there's a link, but you follow it and it's broken. Okay, so I tried an interactive online mapping service - one which, incidentally, is probably paid for my your tax dollars and mine. It's BROKEN! It doesn't work! I get timed-out errors, "Fatal flaw" errors, other errors. (And that was after trying it in BOTH Firefox and IE 6)

I called an office that I thought might have the information and the receptionist said she'd have to hunt someone down and see if they had any ideas.

This is one of those headdesk moments - I came in today figuring, "I can get the information, getting through it will be tedious but routine." I've spent the entire morning trying to find a SOURCE for that information, and haven't even started processing my way through it. This should not be so hard.

best wishes

So Nightfly and his Ladybug are gettin' hitched.

My standard wishes apply: may the marriage be long (lifelong) and happy and your troubles be few. May you be blessed with children if that's what you're planning.

And to be a bit more poetical, I'll cadge a "traditional" (I don't know tradition that well, so I use the quotations as an "out" in case it's not really and truly traditional) Irish wedding blessing from the Internet:

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon the fields.

May the light of friendship guide your paths together.
May the laughter of children grace the halls
of your home.
May the joy of living for one another trip a smile
from your lips,
A twinkle from your eye.

And when eternity beckons,
at the end of a life heaped high with love,
May the good Lord embrace you
with the arms that have nurtured you
the whole length of your joy-filled days.
May the gracious God hold you both
in the palm of His hands.

And, today, may the Spirit of Love
find a dwelling place in your hearts.

Amen.

.

Yes. Even someone as cynical as I tend to be about the dating scene has a romantic side. (Perhaps it's BECAUSE I have the romantic side that I've become so soured on how 90% of "dating" goes in the modern world).

But all the best to you both, may you have great joy in sharing a life.

Fine mood

Ah, I am in a fine and wonderful mood now.

The computer tech came (ON TIME), figured out what more needed to be done. It's been done, and my computer is now back in my home-office, connecting with the Internet through a wireless connection that is STILL far faster than what I've ever had before (the tech warned me that wireless was "a little slower" than actually being connected to the modem, but I don't notice it).

Yesterday afternoon, after finding out about the perfidy of my cable company, I was stomping around, going, "If alcohol didn't give me migraines, I'd be thinking about going out and getting a drink right now."

Well, now, today that all the problems are cleared up, I have almost the same feeling of mellow happiness that a drink (a small one; I'm actually pretty much a lightweight there, even though, as I said, I don't drink because alcohol brings on nearly instant migraines in me) would have brought.

This kind of feeling makes me a bit verbose and often generous and prone to laugh at a great many things. (I have never been drunk but I kind of predict what kind of drunk I'd be, from that - I'd be the silly happy girl who probably "puts out" under the influence and regrets it later).

It's not a bad feeling for a Friday. I think I can almost tolerate going to the grocery store now.

good service, bad service

Okay, I have to say this:

I love my local computer-services center.

Not only did they do a full diagnostic, scan, and clean on my computer when the evil cable company told me it was broken - and they did it fast, and they gave me a better price than originally quoted - but they were POLITE to me (and trust me, that goes a long way), explained things, and even carried the computer out to the car for me when they were done with it.

And now, they are sending someone - at 10:30 THIS MORNING, just over an hour away - to help me set up my wireless network and resolve one little additional problem.

Oh, sure, I pay for the help. But I'm a lot more willing to pay for that sort of thing when the people are:

a. professional
b. polite
c. know what they're doing
d. give me a set time to expect them or to expect my computer to be ready.
e. treat me like I have a brain, that what I don't know about computers isn't because I'm stupid but because it's technical knowledge I'd be unlikely to have, especially if I'm calling for help.

Are you listening, Stupid #$)$(*# Cable Company? That's the way to build a happy customer base.

Yes! Yes! Oh yes!

I have high-speed Internet at home now.

Here's the timeline, for those not following along:

Made an appointment to "upgrade" service (because the el-cheap-o dialup was going away). This was done on the 17th of July or so.

The appointed day came, and went. I called the company three times: first, they said, "Just be patient....they'll call 1/2 hour before they come." Then they said, "Well, it should be before 1 pm." Then they said, "Oh, my gosh- no one made it out?"

So they sent Creepy Saturday Guy. (He was one of those people who wanted to tell me his life story while he was working. I kind of sat on the sofa with a strained smile and nodded and made encouraging sounds...I didn't want Creepy Guy to stick around any longer than necessary.)

Creepy Guy left. I tried to hook up the "easy" internet hookup. Nothing. I called a tech, got insulted by him. ("Just. Click. On. The. Eeeeeee.") I pulled out my "I'm not an idiot" street cred, he was a little more polite. Had me do lots of permutations of plugging and unplugging cables. Never got the "PC active" light to light on the modem. Always got the message that the LAN cable was unplugged.

His conclusion: your computer is broken. Call me back when it's fixed.

So, at a cost of $65 to myself, I took the 'puter in for diagnostics to the best computer place in town. They assured me nothing was wrong - they hooked their cable internet up to it and it worked just fine. (I also sprang for the spywear clean and disk defrag; at that point it was only $20 more, and while I CAN do it myself, I often prefer to have someone who knows 100% of what they are doing do it).

So I brought it home and hooked it up. No go, of course.

Called the cable company (heretofore to be known as "the #(*&$#@ cable company"). They once again disavowed any knowledge of having a customer by my name (until I read off the customer number - so why ask for the name at first anyway?)

The new guy (and I knew it was someone different; this fellow had a Latin American accent) asked me to read off the MAC number of the modem (instead of immediately assuming it was my fault or my stupidity.) I did, and he said, "Oh, it's not registered to your house...it's registered to..." and he read off the address of the cable company's (sorry, the #(*&$#@ cable company's) local office.

He said: call them up (he was one of the central techs that is like in Georgia or somewhere), they need to "turn on" the service for you.

Well, derr. Wouldn't you think they'd have done that before sending the Saturday Creepy Guy out with the cable modem?

So I called. And the lady (I've learned now: never talk to the ladies at my cable company; their job is mainly to upsell people on additional services or to be a layer of obfuscation between the customer and the people who actually know something) said they'd send a tech out "first thing" today.

So, 9 am passed. 10 am passed. 11 am passed. In my universe, by the time you reach 11 am, it is no longer "first thing."

So I called again. The lady said, "Oh, someone will most likely be out between 1 and 5."

"Most likely" to me means, "If they feel like it and I remember to tell them."

So I sat tight a while longer. Revised another journal article. Watched some tv. Ate lunch.

Finally, around 2:15, I decided to take the bull by the nether-bits and I called again. Only this time, I called the customer service number, hit "0" instead of letting it go through all the various numbers I COULD punch.

Got a guy. So I started unloading. I was polite but I made it clear I wasn't happy with the service.

He said, okay, I'll walk you through some diagnostics. We'll see if we can figure this out right now, without your waiting on a tech.

So he had me check the LAN port on my machine - did I see the eight pins? Were they straight? Yes. Fine.

He had me check the powerstrip. Fine.

He then had me remove the LAN cable from the back of the modem and check the pins.

Houston, we have a problem.

Have you seen the movie "Sling Blade"? Remember what Billy Bob Thornton's character's teeth looked like? The pins in the LAN socket on the back of the modem looked WORSE than that - they were overlapping even more.

I kind of gasped when I saw it, and the tech said, "Oh...so there's something wrong with the socket. Okay, bring the modem in and we'll exchange it."

(I generally don't cuss too much here on the blog, but feel welcome to imagine a string of four-letter Anglo-Saxon words right here).

The appleknockers gave me a defective modem. They gave me a modem that someone else had, and either broke and exchanged or broke before they gave up the service. Or they broke it out of stupid maliciousness, to screw the next person to get their modem.

And the freaking Saturday Creepy Guy didn't bother to check!

So I drove in. It's a couple miles away to the office. I was shaking as I drove and it occurred to me I was just angry enough that I had to be very careful driving so I didn't get into an accident.

Got it, wound up waiting behind some guy who needed the ins and outs of his cable box explained to him very. slowly.

Which was actually good, because my anger had a chance to dissipate.

I held up the back of the modem to the guy (it was the guy I had talked to on the phone) and said, "Could that have caused my problem?"

He kind of gasped. And immediately began apologizing. And asked for Creepy Saturday Guy's name. (I only knew him as the Weekend Tech but that told them who, apparently - one of the women rolled her eyes when she heard).

And he pulled out a brand-new, better quality (Motorola rather than some Chinese off-brand) modem and handed it to me. He had me fill out some paperwork, promised he'd turn my service on THAT MOMENT with the modem.

He also said, of the old modem: "We'll take this one out back and hit it with a baseball bat." (I hope he was serious. I hope no other poor sap gets stuck with it)

I drove home, set it up, and it works. I knew that when ALL the lights came on as soon as I plugged it in, things were going to be better.

Now I just have to do the thing with the wireless router, and I'm in business, with my computer back in the office where it belongs.

And it only took 6 days, and it was a problem that could have been prevented by someone taking five minutes to inspect the danged modem. But whatever. Live and learn.

Emerging etiquette

Here's something I've been wondering about.

I don't know much about the "historical" things I am going to speculate on...for one thing, both of my parents' families didn't get television or (in one case) a telephone until after my parents were out of their respective nests, so I am solely going by gut-feelings and what I've read in books.

But I wonder if for every new technology, there's a period of "shaking out," where the ethics and etiquette of how and when that technology is used has to kind of be tested and tried.

I got to thinking about this after the last time I was at the post office. They have a sign up now, that basically says, "If you are chatting with someone on your cell phone when you reach the head of the line, we will serve the NEXT person in line behind you, unless you end your conversation."

Which seems eminently fair to me - one thing I don't enjoy seeing is people throwing money at wal-mart cashiers, treating them as if they're automatons, because whatever's being discussed on the dang cell phone is, apparently, so important that the person can't pause for 30 seconds to acknowledge the humanity of the person in front of them.

I wonder if in the coming year, we'll see more of a backlash like that: people refusing to serve people on cell phones. Waiters telling patrons talking loudly on cell phones to shut up or take it outside (a friend of mine informs me that in some of the better, more cosmopolitan restaurants, that's already happening).

Maybe even a ban on people talking in movies? (And I might start going to movies again, then.)

I wonder what happened with previous "new" technologies...we're still figuring out cell phones and e-mail and blogs.

With e-mail, a lot of people have suggested the 24-hour-rule: if you write an angry or critical e-mail, hold off on sending it for 24 hours (I think some mail clients even have an option you can set to "hold" mail before you finally send) so you can decide whether or not the tone was appropriate. (However, this is actually an older rule: I've seen it applied to letter-writing. I mean, "real" letters, ones made with a pen and paper.) And we're still figuring out what kinds of e-mails are appropriate to send at work, and we're still learning just how permanent your e-mail record is.

(And that last can act in your favor: a good friend of mine is on our campus' academic appeals committee and he says that in some cases, the he-said, she-said situation is solved by one or the other party producing a copy of an e-mail they sent or received that supports their position. And I've done that: sent e-mails to students warning them, "If you don't start showing up to class, you will fail" which should be obvious, but sometimes, when someone's been enabled all through their educational lives, nothing is "obvious." So if they come back and demand a grade adjustment, I can produce a copy of the e-mail and shrug and say, "I warned them.")

And with cell-phones: I think the two big etiquette issues are

a. where is it appropriate to talk on the phone

and

b. when is it appropriate to answer your phone (or, for that matter, have it turned on at all.)

I think we're still working on a. I tend to have a stricter view than a lot of people: I'd like to see it perceived as "tacky" for someone to walk through a store, talking on their phone. Part of that is because I've nearly been run down by people doing that: they become kind of oblivious. I would think the proper thing to do would be to find a non-busy area of the store, and stand still and talk, and finish the conversation as fast as possible.

And I think it's inappropriate to talk on the phone - emergency situations barred - if you are involved in some kind of face-to-face conversation.

As for b., I'd observe that it's tacky to answer the cell phone (again, barring emergency situations, and I'd extend "emergency" to "I'm waiting on the shop to call me to let me know my car's done") when you're talking with another person.

(I can't remember which blog I read it on, but someone was talking about the appropriate response to someone answering their cell-phone mid-conversation with you, and then launching into a "frivolous" conversation with the person on the other end of the cell phone while putting you on "hold" (usually by holding up a hand). The person writing the blog said they felt their response would be to respond to the hand with one particular finger (you guess which one) and walk away.)

I guess I tend to think in terms of priorities. "Emergency" takes top priority, "Logistics" (like - getting a call from the shop to let you know your car's done) also get a high priority. (I was working with a student yesterday and his wife called him to let him know she was home: I regard that as a "logistics" call because the two of them have but one car). Simple conversations - not so much. It doesn't feel fair to tell the person you're talking with IN PERSON that "this conversation on my cell phone is much more interesting than you." Surely it's possible to say, "I'm busy, I will call back."? I mean, unless the person on the phone is embarking on a cruise to Darkest Africa or something, but seriously, how often does that happen?

I also don't like it when people answer phones in class. (Yes, it has happened to me.) I stop dead in my teaching, and stand there and GLARE at them until they get the hint (usually saying, "I can't talk now, bye.") and hang up. That happens rarely but it has happened more than once in my teaching career.

Likewise: in church, in a wedding, at a funeral, at a play, in a concert, in a lecture, in a museum: don't take a conversation. There should be some places in our society where we have quiet and where we get to concentrate on what is being said or what we are observing. (I was very offended the last time I was in a museum: a couple was on the phone chatting with a friend, and they were doing it LOUDLY and right in front of an exhibit several people - self included - wanted to see). I would think people should (again, excepting emergencies) be expected to turn off their cell phones in those situations. (Some places have reminders; I've seen it in concert programs).

Thinking about this, though, made me wonder: what did people do when television, and earlier, telephones first came out?

My parents were among the first generation to have television (but as I said, in both their cases, their families didn't get tvs until my mom and my dad were in college - in fact, I think they had married before my mom's parents got tv.). I do know a few simple etiquette rules that used to be in practice when I was a kid:

1. If someone is over at your house, you don't turn on the television unless
a. it's a national-emergency situation, like the president has been shot or something
or
b. you expressly invited them over to watch something - like the last game of the World Series, for example.

However, recently, I've been at people's houses for visits (and not close family; they're exempt from this rule) and they've turned on the tv. In one memorable case, I was at a meeting at someone's house - for a committee I was on - and the woman who's house we were at wanted to watch "Survivor," so she put it on WHILE WE WERE TRYING TO CONDUCT THE MEETING.

When it's just a social visit and someone switches on the tv, I take it as a cue to leave. Even if the person insists they don't want me to go. Unless I came to their house with the expectation of watching something, having someone switch on the tv tells me "I am now bored with your company."

I do understand - from some of my reading - that in its earlier days, television was more of a social event. Now, mainly (at least in my circle) people get together for Super Bowl parties and such, and watch sporting events together. But it seems that in the early days, people with tvs would invite friends (especially friends who did not yet have tvs) over for things like the Kraft Theater and other more "highbrow" programs. (I suppose not unlike friends getting together to watch a dvd today).

I also wonder about the telephone - an older technology, one that no one in my family would remember the invention of (Well, no one living). I don't know much about the early etiquette of the telephone, aside from having read that some people feared the interruption it would cause, that it would put people at the beck and call of others (hmm, kind of like cell phones today - one of the reasons I don't give out my number, one of the reasons I don't turn the dang thing on most of the time is that I like to be able to walk across campus or go shopping without someone being able to call me). And the fact that apparently Graham Bell thought that the appropriate greeting when you picked up the phone was "A-hoy-hoy" (which has been "immortalized" by how Monty Burns answers the phone on "The Simpsons.")

But, with a few boorish exceptions, the landline telephone and the television have been incorporated into our lives and it seems etiquette has kind of grown up around them. Perhaps the same will happen for cell phones and internet usage.

some GOOD news

...for a change.

A man I know from church (well, actually, I know his wife better because I've served on committees with her) had been diagnosed with prostate cancer. He had surgery and was undergoing further treatment (radiation, I presume: that's what my dad had).

His year-later checkup yesterday showed that the doctors (and his body) had apparently kicked cancer's ass OUT. There was no sign of cancer at that checkup.

So, for everyone who's issued an F-off to cancer on the FFOT over at Emily's, here's one for the good guys.

I Can Waste Timez!

I couldn't resist it.

So I made a World Leader Macro, better known as LOLworldleaders

It's kinda dumb, but then my sense of humor is kinda dumb.

This is not intended as a slam at Bush or Brown, but rather at a news media that seems to think that what they are having for lunch today is more important than any kind of in-depth analysis of what they may discuss or what this may mean for the world.

Thinking.....

So, Ken tagged me as a blog that makes him think. (Which kind of makes me laugh, given that the past few days have been mainly devoted to me whining about the bad customer service that exists in this town).

But the goal is to list five other blogs that make you think. I suppose one of the rules is to list blogs others have not listed, but I'm not about to troll all over the web seeing who-all has been linked before and who has not. So here are my five off-the-cuff choices:

1. Junk Food Science is one that I think's not been named before. I like this blog because the author - who is herself in the health field - takes all of the "OMG WTF BBQ!!!11!!" medical headlines and calmly explains what's going on. It's a good counter-measure to the hyperbolic medical headlines and generally poor science reporting you see in the media. (It also, I have to admit, makes me feel a bit better about myself - after hearing in the media "Any woman who weighs more than 135 pounds is too fat, and is going to die really really soon of heartdiseasediabetescancerstroke, oh, and she's not really a woman any more because she's TOO FAT" drumbeat, Sandy will have some story up about how it's really not that bad to be bigger than the stick-insect ideal, especially if you eat healthfully and exercise)

2. Mental Multivitamin. I do not always agree with everything she says (but then, that's perhaps a prerequisite of someone being a blogger who makes you think; otherwise, it's just heads bobbing like so many Taco Bell dog giveaways). But she's linked to some wonderful essays that I love. And she makes me feel like I really should be reading Shakespeare, or at the very least, renting the dvds.

3. I know it's totally been done before by EVERYONE, but I'm also going to list Sheila. Because she does make me think. And she makes me go back and replay my Dean Martin CDs. Or reminds me of a movie I saw some time back, or a book I read. And I love the "salon" that her comments often becomes. I'd point to her as counter-evidence to people who claim that the Internet is isolating and stultifying - the comments section of any given post can be anything from an ongoing discussion debating the merits of the subject at hand, to a series of reminiscences, to an increasingly over-the-top jokefest. (One of my favorite posts of hers ever involved that Christo installation called "Gates"...and she asked for people to write unhinged, po-mo deconstructionist style criticism of the installation...and the thing was, it WORKED. I mean, the final product was so GOOD that it read almost like one of those pretentious art reviews...but it was a joke.

And then when a friend of hers linked to it, someone who wasn't in on the joke read it, and thought it was genuine. And they got angry!)

4. Haven't "tuned in" in a while (I've been busy) but About Last Night is definitely a blog that makes me think, when I can take the time to read it. (I find it often goes a bit over my head; I'm not nearly as well-read, well-versed in music, or well-traveled as the authors)

5. Also haven't tuned in in a while to this one, but The Anchoress also makes me think. It's another blog where I'd observe I don't always agree with the author (and at times the author is operating on a higher plane than where my brain normally operates), but she does make me think. And the woman seems to be a right polymath, able to write intelligently on the saints, politics, opera, even global climate change. (I feel sometimes compelled, when I read a blog that is a "thinking blog" for me, to drop to the floor in a Wayne Campbell/Garth Algar pose and wail, "I'm not worthy!")


So, that's my five. I'm not tagging them, not requiring them to extend this further, as I said that I think everyone out there's already been tagged multiple times. I guess I kind of have to plead parochialism...I don't read that many esoteric blogs, I don't usually go searching for things specifically aimed at making me think. (Usually when I "surf," I'm looking to be entertained - and yeah, you can be entertained while you think, but there are some blogs that make you think but not laugh, and there are others that make you laugh but not really think.)

Perhaps that should be a NEW meme: "laughing blogs" - blogs or sites that make you laugh but really aren't very intellectual. I nominate the I Can Has Cheezburger site as the first one.

Oh, and incidentally....on the news this morning they gave the menu (WTF?) of what Bush and Brown are eating at Camp David. Today's lunch, they said, is cheeseburgers. Someone SO needs to doctor a photo of Bush and Brown to add the caption, "We can has cheezburgers?"

I mean - I'm far from a Bush hater, and I'd actually consider the comment more of a slap at the news-media's tendency to report inane details, but it's too good of a joke, IMHO, to go undone.

Still online...

Well, I'm glad I can still do dial-up. I've tried everything I know how to do with the cable modem and I've concluded it's one of two things:

1. My LAN port is fried and I'll need to get a PCMCIA card installed to make a new LAN connection. (Or there's some other kind of connectivity/stuff not talking to other stuff issue). I figure I can fix this by first getting a computer dude to check out the LAN port to see if it's fried or not, and then checking all the settings.

or

2. There's something screwy with the cable modem or the cable connectivity. I talked to a friend last night (she also happens to be the DA in this town...which might be useful someday) and her cable internet's been out. But she's not as incensed by it as I am, but then she said she and her husband had just been too busy to muck with it. I also talked to my brother - who is in a totally different part of the country with a different cable company but he said that when they got the Internet service, they (meaning his wife; my brother is even less good at being forceful and firm than I am) had to raise holy Hell with the cable company to get it to operate...like me, the cable company kept putting them off, claiming either something was broken on their computer or they "weren't doing it right." (My brother is a whiz - in a minor sort of a way - with computers so that was highly unlikely).

If that's the case, I will raise holy Hell until it's fixed. And I have three weeks before the fall semester starts in which I will have sufficient free time to become a real nuisance to the customer-service desk at my cable internet company if necessary. I will request refund of my cable internet fees, I will tell them to change me out to DSL, I will ask them to cancel my contract...if it takes threatening to call the BBB on them, I will. (This is, in case you want to know, one of the divisions of James Cable, LLC.)


Of course it could just be a trashed LAN connection that 10 minutes of geekery from a guy who knows what he's doing will fix. I hope that's it.


It frustrates me when there's bad customer service. Part of it being, for a lot of these type of things, it involves a person taking a day off work, or scheduling time to be home. Far too many service-people seem to assume that everyone else has a totally flexible schedule where it's no hardship for them to sit at home for many hours or even multiple days.

I find myself thinking that if I were looking for a new career, I'd become an electrician or plumber or computer tech or something like that. If I worked alone, I'd hire an answering service (or carry a cell phone that was always on) so people could actually talk to a real person instead of leaving a phone message that may or may not be returned. And I'd try to be realistic in scheduling - not taking on so much work and not underestimating how quickly I can do things.


Right now I'm lying on my living room floor using dial-up after trying for about 1/2 hour to get the cable internet working again. I'm nothing if not stubborn.

****

That said - I'm pretty happy with the digital cable. It seems that a lot of the "good" channels are on the digital tier and are not offered on basic cable where I live.

I stayed up too late last night watching "A Member of the Wedding" on TCM (I know I read the book as a young teenager but the movie seemed to make more sense to me than the book did.) And this morning I watched "Irma la Douce" (ironically... a movie about a prostitute, watched before I headed out to church.) That one was on "Encore Love" (one of the "premium" channels I get free for a short time, I suppose so they can maybe hook me in and make me buy them).

I think I'm probably going to watch more movies than I did in the past...part of the problem is so many of the basic cable channels show movies I don't care for (like AMC - they used to show good stuff until [I assume] Ted Turner bought up all the rights to it. Now they show 70s monster flicks, and a few bad prints of old Westerns, and some rather horrid movies from the 80s that I would hardly call "classic."). I also don't like commercial interruptions...they are too distracting and make me more prone to turn the tv off and go do something else. It's like they break the "spell" of the movie. But on the non-commercial-showing networks, you get the whole movie, without breaks - more like you'd experience in a theater. And the tension's not broken, or the "spell" isn't broken. In a way, it's more like reading a book. (At least until publishers figure out a way to beam advertisements into the middle of books so that after you've read 40 pages or so, an ad for diet pills or fast food or pintle-raisers shows up before your eyes.)

There's a real pleasure - one I had forgotten - of lying in my couch in my dark living room, just watching a movie before bed. (Yes, I know, I have a dvd player. But I also have to admit there's a certain pleasure in the serendipity of finding a movie I've never seen before, or read about and thought sounded interesting, and just sitting down to watch it. I feel the same way about music on the radio - I have over a hundred CDs, and yet, I still miss having a local channel that plays the kind of music I like. And - now I do get some digital music channels, including a couple of classical channels, and some jazz, and one for "standards.")

Oh NOES!

You're an Aphid!

In the grand scheme of things, you are really quite small and
insignificant. In fact, even from a more local view, you have little to offer.
Few have heard of you, and even fewer care to actually look at you if they can
help it. You never seem to get invited to garden parties, or gardens, or parties,
for that matter. Nevertheless, you know deep down that you're part of a huge
society of equally insignificant folks. Together, you have strength in numbers
and can unite to take down almost anything green! Just try not to be such a
pest.


Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Seriously, that made me laugh. I needed that after how these past couple days have been. (I guess "sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug" seems to be in play here.)

(spinning around, sputtering, and with steam coming out my ears)

That is how you need to imagine me right now. Picture a female (taller, prettier) version of Rumplestiltskin and you've pretty much got it.

In the past two days, I have:

1. Spent an entire day with my thumb up my butt waiting on a scheduled (previously scheduled) cable repair person to come. I was told "They'll call a half hour before they come out." I was later told "They'll come between 8 and 1." And finally, "Oh, my gosh - no one showed up?" (at five pm).

2. Had a leaking toilet - bad wax seal. This has happened before. It's part and parcel of living in an old house where a lot of things have been gerry-rigged over the years and where the floors slope and the foundation shifts. But - I called a plumber. Called 15 plumbers, in fact. Everyone is booked up. (And yet there are those who claim our economy is just short of dying). It's the building boom here - workmen would rather work on taking an empty building up from scratch than go out and help an existing homeowner. (I kind of don't blame them; I'd rather do work not involving people much of the time).

Anyway - the last guy I called, I started to cry. I did not want to but I was at that point where it was either cry or put my fist through a wall. And I didn't want to have to try to get someone out to repair plaster.

He told me "Well, it's possible for a homeowner to do it themselves..." and kind of roughed out the steps. (I think it was probably because I did cry; I was at the end of my rope. I have only one bathroom in my house so if it stops working, I am quite literally up shit creek.)

So I went and bought a wax seal. (And had to call the cable company and give them my cell phone number, in case the tech might call while I was out. )

And changed it.

And you know? I'd rather pay someone to do it. Even though a service call is like $70 and a new wax seal costs like $5. It's a nasty and unpleasant job. And it involves lifting a toilet. And it involves fairly close contemplation of the pipe that everything you really don't want to deal with goes down - everything that you have a flush toilet for - during the process.

I have discovered the limit of my strength; I am strong enough to lift a toilet twice in a day but no more than that.

3. Got someone out to work on my busted garage door opener. Found out that the circuit board had burnt up, and will need to wait until a new one arrives.

4. Had the cable guy (who was about as creepy as the Jim Carrey character) show up today. He told me he wasn't "allowed" to configure my computer; all he could do was set up the cable modem.

I spent five hours trying to get my computer to talk to the modem. That is even before trying to set up the router that will theoretically make the entire setup wireless.

Those five hours were spent sitting in a cramped crouch on my hallway floor (between my office and my living room) trying to get cables and power-cord to stretch.

I spent an hour on the phone with a tech guy. At one point he told me, in exasperation, "You get to the internet by clicking on the "e"" (Meaning: open Internet Explorer, you biddy.)

I do not like being talked down to. I do not like people assuming that because something is not working it is because I am stupid. I coldly remarked: "I have tried opening both Internet Explorer and Firefox, which is the BROWSER I prefer [I wanted to say, but didn't, that I knew what a browser was] and in both cases, the browser could not connect to any of the websites I tried, meaning there is no internet connection."

After an hour of plugging and unplugging, telling him which lights were and were not lit on the modem, he gave up. Told me the LAN connection was probably fried, and that I needed to buy a PC/MCIA adaptor that would allow me to attach the cable to it.

Our local wal-mart, although they carry routers, does not carry that item. I will be d****d if I am driving a half hour to the next largest city for a PC/MCIA adaptor.

What makes me angry, is that I'm at the absolute limit of my powers here. I have done everything I know how to do and I cannot make it work. And I am paying for the new "high speed" internet (allegedly high speed, I will believe it once I get it working.)

My dial-up is still working at home (I was told it was "no longer supported" which I assumed meant disconnected, but maybe they lied to me) So I'm using that now.

I guess - after buying a $60 router, and after buying a $25 PC/MCIA card (that's what the cable helpdesk guy said they cost), I will also have to hire a tech.

Gah. This is like renovating a house. Only you can't live in it.

I hate technology sometimes. And I especially hate people who assume people fall into one of two camps: totally proficient who can do everything for themselves with no help, or so stupid and backward that they probably forgot to turn the computer on. I am not a stupid woman. However, I lack expertise when it comes to wiring, and the different flavors of internet connectivity, and dealing with all the unseen hardware inside the computer. I want help with that. I do not need someone saying "Click. On. The. EEEEEEEE." like I'm four years old or mentally defective.

So, I guess Monday I call for a tech. And spend another lovely thumb-in-the-ass day at home, waiting for someone to show up.

All I can say is: when I have an appointment to help someone, I'm there, come hell or high water. The LEAST I would ask for local workmen would be to call me and let me know they won't make it, instead of leaving me hanging for a whole entire day.

Oh, and now I have to take the 20 pounds of barbecued chicken wings that I spent the day cooking (between cussing at the computer and pulling wires) to a place I've never been to before, where I'm not sure I will have help getting them out of my car. And I'm not sure I'll get the opportunity to eat (Although after making 20 pounds of chicken wings, no matter how delicious they may have turned out, I'm not sure I want to see chicken again for a while.

So it's been a pretty crappy weekend, all around.

Oh, I know - it's all "in the larger scheme of things, this means nothing" stuff, but for some reason I'm a lot better at coping with the big stuff than the little stuff. I think it's because I feel like the little stuff SHOULD go smoothly; I kind of accept that big stuff sometimes goes wrong.

I'm also bugged about the sheer amount of money I've spent trying to solve a problem (connectivity) that's still not solved. I am a deeply cheap person in many ways. I do not mind spending money on a problem if there is clearly a good outcome. But I do not like spending money when the outcome may or may not be good - for all I know, the tech could conclude the cable strength or something here is insufficient to support broadband connectivity.

Yay

My grades are all posted for the semester.

It's a good feeling.

A doubly good feeling is that I have the sense that the grades people earned this semester reflected their effort. Lots of Bs, but a B is a pretty good grade (in my book, at least). The only Fs were a couple people who quit coming and didn't withdraw. A couple Ds, but they were people who really didn't put in much of an effort in the class, or failed to do assignments, or something.

Just a couple of As, but then, an A should be reserved for outstanding work.

Now I get to take a little time off.