In one of my classes, the students are doing presentations this week. I enjoy that (I'm off the hook from talking, and also, some students who don't do that well on exams do excellent presentations, and that makes me happy - it makes me feel like, "well, this levels things for them a little bit").
But one guy today was having a hard time. His project just wasn't that good (and believe me, I tried to help him choose better) and he just wasn't presenting very well.
The smartass of the class (sits in the back row, has a big ego, constantly talks about the high grades he's getting - they're really not all that, but I let him live because he periodically says something so FUNNY in response to one of my questions that I actually crack up in front of the class) started whispering with the two girls on either side of him. Whispering about how the presentation "sucked" and all that.
Now, I ask you: These people are, like, 20 years old. We are in a classroom that is, at best, 25 feet by 15 feet. Does he not think the guy knows what's going on? Especially when I've stopped him mid-comment throughout the semester to ask him if he "has anything to share." Or do they have no tact? Part of the reason the guy up front was having a hard time was that he was un-used to presenting and was nervous.
I turned around and glared at the guy and his "lady friends" and they shut up, but I felt like that was something I should not have had to have done.
Sometimes my college students are as immature as my youth group kids. And that's saying a lot.
(And speaking of youth group: I have a problem. Several of the kids have cell phones and I'm getting INCREDIBLY SICK AND TIRED of having to remind them to a. turn the dang thing off during the lesson or group time, b. not play loud raunchy music on them when they're waiting for dinner, and c. not text each other at dinner. (I ask you: they sit across the table from each other and text each other. Either they're sending off-color jokes they don't want me to hear, or they're just so dang addicted to it they can't stop.) I've contemplated confiscating the cell phones until the end of the evening when they're abused, but I'm a little afraid of getting an irate call from a parent over it - some of the parents are incredibly protective of their kids' stuff. If it weren't so expensive (and so hard to get permission), I'd build a dang Faraday cage in the Youth room to block signals.
It's like - I spend all this time talking about community and caring for one another and not closing people out of the circle, and here they are, heads down, texting. Or calling people not in the group to tease them or claim that "J. likes you!" while J. protests in the background "I don't and you suck!" Or something.
I'm beginning to feel that cell phones are more of a detriment than a benefit to our society. I went to the post office today and saw the signs they have up all over the place - "Please Refrain from Using Cell Phones While Talking to Clerk." and I thought, "what a screwed up society that we can't figure that out on our own; that we can't take 30 seconds of our life to actually interact with the human being who is serving us, because we think we're so important and our conversation with the person on the other end is so important."
It makes me profoundly sad sometimes, and it makes me wonder where we're going to go from here. I don't like endless rules and regulations but honestly, the way some people act, I fear the 90% of people who use consideration and follow the unwritten rules of etiquette are going to get regulated to death because of the 10% who are too clueless to consider the feelings of others. And of course the 10% will continue to violate the rules, and we'll just get more rules heaped on our heads as a result.)
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
rudeness: we has it.
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politeness
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7 comments:
When I was teaching, I was always amazed at the side conversations these student were having while others were trying to lecture, question, present and just plain learn. THIS IS COLLEGE, PEOPLE! GROW THE _ _ _ _ UP!
I can barely believe you actually have to stop class to ask college students if they "have anything to share." Teachers shouldn't have to do that after junior high.
Our post office has a longer sign about that--something about how a customer has to be off the phone b/c the clerk has to ask them questions about the contents of their package. Terrorism, y'know.
You don't ever want to have to monitor a discussion board in an online grad class, Ricki. My very first quarter, the instructor of one of my courses had to "step in" to tell my one classmate to quit bullying other people. She even had to say those obvious things about netiquette and refraining from saying things you wouldn't say to other people's faces, etc. And I'll bet the median age of online students is a bit higher.
I remember, in grad school, giving a presentation - and I reprimanded a couple of kids in the class AS I WAS GIVING MY PRESENTATION - I just looked up at them and said, "let me know when you're done ..." I was outraged!
That being said: I can't do without my cell phone. Sorry, ricki. I am as discreet as can be, and do not discuss my love life while I'm on the bus, for example - but if it rings, and I'm in public, I'm answering it. Too bad. I know in New York no one gives a rat's ass if you talk in public. I try to hold it down to a minimum - and I always defer to whatever is going on in the moment (in line at the deli, what have you) - but having a cell phone has added immensely to my life, how efficient I am - how much I am in touch with loved ones - I think it's awesome.
Sheila is right on in her hatred of rudeness, but there is an opposite opinion about her love of cell phones--mine. I turned my cell phone in and don't want another. I get along much better without the feeling of enslavement at being at everyone else's constant beck and, um, call. I also find myself resenting people who interrupt face-to-face conversations with me to answer their blankety-blank cell phones.
Come to think of it, cell phone usage in public is intrinsically rude. It says that the unseen person to whom one is talking is MUCH more important than those in the talker's immediate vicinity. That's probably true, but it isn't very nice to be so blatant about it.
I used to be a natural snoop about trying to overhear one end of cell phone conversations involving people I didn't know. Then I discovered that 99% of the conversations are banal and boring.
The "anonymous" comment was mine, just so you know whom to blame (or to stereotype as a hopeless reactionary). The posting procedure on Rikki's blog seems to have changed a little bit.
My students are so addicted to texting that I have no choice but the collect all the phones at the beginning of class and return them at the end. And yes, I teach first year college students, who are supposed to know better. Your students at least sound like they are AWARE that their behavior is bad... mine act like I am causing them bodily harm by insisting that they be separated from their phones for an hour and fifteen minutes. *Sigh*
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