And so, the blizzard begins

The blizzard of Snowflakes.

So far, I've had:

- One person call me up with some shockingly TMI medical stuff to explain why they were missing class. (And I don't shock easy, let's just say that color and consistency were mentioned). Then they called me up another day they missed to explain that they were in the Registrar's office for some reason and would have been late, and figured it was better not to show up. This is a class that has met a total of four times.

- Two people writing me complaining/affronted e-mails that I reported them for non attendance (as I am supposed to do) because they had REALLY GOOD REASONS for missing more than one of the four class meetings so far.

- One person who is not even a student try to engage me in a long, sad, "look at me, look at poor me" conversation.

- One pre-med demanding something registrar-related that I cannot provide, and who was probably past the deadline for doing it anyway. It took four times of me explaining it to him before he realized that I couldn't click my heels three times and make his transcript perfectified.

- One person in one of my classes asking if she can tape-record it (fine, I have no problems with that, though I realize that sometime the taped lectures could be misused). Then she puts the tape recorder on my desk and asks me to turn it on when class starts! (She DID stay for class, but sat in the back row. Um, if you want to tape, could you sit in the front and control your own tape recorder?) I thought that was one of the more presumptuous requests I've heard.

- One guy who enrolled late, has not spoken to me, has not shown up for class. This is someone who took this class before, never showed, and earned an F. Did the same in another class of mine, but that time gave a very hokey sob story as to why I should grant him an I instead, even though he had done none of the work. (Didn't work.). The secretary and I looked over his transcript and we have a suspicion that he may be one of the financial aid scammers - the people who stay in school as long as they can, enroll every semester, take the check, never go to class, and don't worry about the Fs until the gravy train cuts off. This is FRAUD, pure and simple, and if this student is doing it, I hope he gets caught and made to pay back every penny. (Especially since one of our non-trad students was harassed by Financial Aid because she had a wonky combination of classes this semester: taking several upper-division classes but also fulfilling a couple delinquencies she had. I had to write a letter to Financial Aid verifying that I worked with her and that she was on track to graduate in the spring. And I know she is. But they were going to deny her her Pell Grant, I think.)

It's kind of like a circus, only with no acrobats, more clowns. And lots and lots of poop.