One of these days...

One of these days a student is going to show up to my class with a loose handful of papers (their assignment), smile sheepishly at me and say "I don't have a stapler, and I couldn't find one. Is that OK?" and I'm going to flip out and say "NO. No, it isn't OK. I've brought three separate staplers to class and lost every one. I grow weary of having to go down to the departmental office to use THEIR stapler to staple the student papers. I'm sick of me wearing the same pair of shoes I wore last year while students who claim they can't afford to buy a stapler have the newest, fanciest cell-phone with an unlimited texting plan...."

It hasn't happened yet, but I fear eventually it will.