Monday, September 06, 2010

What's really bothering me

I have a Big Important meeting tomorrow. With a Big Important person. Someone who's been kind of a bully towards me in the past, and someone that I have a really hard time "reading." (Most people, I'm pretty good at figuring out where they're coming from, what their "issues" are, but this person - I just can't.)

It doesn't involve me KEEPING my job, but it does involve ADVANCEMENT in my job, and how I feel after this meeting may in part influence my decision to (a) stay here longer (b) consider taking the Big Scary Step of applying for a job elsewhere or (c) consider getting out of academia all together. (It's sort of a "Is this what the future is going to be, dealing with these kinds of attitudes, and do I really want that" kind of thing).

So I'm scared. Scared because of this person's bullying tendencies, but also scared because I really don't want to wind up making the decision that "this place is becoming an untenable place to stay, time to do a Job Search."

If you could spare a good thought for me, I'd appreciate it.

And also for my sister-in-law, if you have a spare good thought for her. She's dealing with family-of-origin craziness that she should not be having to deal with. My brother is supportive of her and it's probably good she has him, but there's only so much he can do to help.

And the husband of a friend - his name is Dave - is going through some weird health issues and we don't know yet what's wrong.

So yeah: life is unstable and unhappy for a lot of people 'round here right now.


Dave E. said...

Good thoughts and prayer for you, ricki. My dad is entering what will probably be his last year as a graduate school professor(business, strategic planning). He is deeply distressed at the state of academia right now. Much of what he sees is more focused on the faculty and the administration instead of serving the students, but he feels powerless to change anything.

Stay and fight, or flee and enjoy the time left to him at 75? I urge him to do the latter just because of the good work he has done serving students over the years. That doesn't mean that's the right course for you.

I'm glad my dad is getting out now because I see an education bubble that is about to burst, provoking a destructive wave that will have severe ramifications for many faculty, but one that those who actually teach courses that provide value to their students will be able to ride out for the most part.

Reading your blog all of these years, I am certain that there is a market for the knowledge that you have worked so hard to gain and are so willing to teach. And that that market will provide you with a good living. Whether it's where you are at or somewhere else I can't say. I can only give you my best wishes and gut feeling that you will be fine whatever you decide.

Mrs. Chism said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Ricki.

Kate P said...

Positive thoughts & prayers, Ricki.