Deploying the chutes...

And so, the weird world of news rallies on.

(I know, the story's got a whole lot muddier, with passengers now claiming he instigated the fight and was cussing them out first, rather than his responding to a passenger's rudeness).

I don't know. I don't condone what the flight attendant did. But you know? I don't vilify him either. I've already read a couple editorials essentially implying that the "true heroism" would be, apparently, for him to continue to suck up the bad behavior of the public, allow people to treat him like a slave, and to just smile and eat the crap people dish up.

And you know, I'm not sure I agree. Yes, there's something to be said for serving the public. And yes, people can have bad days, or be upset over something and have that upset come out against another person. But, I don't think it's right that someone, even a "service" employee, should continually have to take the garbage people hand out.

I've seen it happen. I travel by train a lot. I've heard people cuss out the conductors for asking them (for their own safety and hygiene!) to put their shoes on and not walk in the train barefoot. Or I've seen people who demanded the moon of a waiter or waitress, and then either left no tip, or left a very stingy tip. (And yes, the whole thing of "having" to tip is another issue, but since most people who wait tables depend on tips to make a salary that's more livable...)

And as a prof, I've had my share of bad-people experiences. The guy who went ballistic in my office and started screaming at me that I was unfair on my homework because I was asking him to do a genetics problem unlike any I had worked in class, even though the very type of problem was shown in detail in the book. The student who cussed me out when I busted him for plagiarizing. The students who sit in class and text, or pull out their big elf-sex book (fantasy novel) and read it during class discussion or activities. The eye-rollers. The people who get up and leave from class when they decide they've had enough. The people who sit and talk and snicker (You tell yourself they're not laughing at you, but you still find yourself surreptitiously checking to be sure your fly is zipped or that there's nothing in your teeth). The people who come in angry over earning a poor grade, who threaten to go to the dean, who tell you their parents give money to the school.

There's just so much rudeness, so much self-centeredness in the world. I know, you should let it run off your back - but there comes a time when it doesn't, any more. It's a collective thing - it builds up.

And I don't know what the best option is. Obviously, it's not dropping the f-bomb over the intercom, grabbing beer, and sliding down the exit chutes. But there needs to be some way to teach people that it's not acceptable to treat other people like dirt. In an ideal world, doing something like, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you when you are talking to me that way" would work, but I think in a lot of cases that would make the entitled behavior even WORSE.

(Coming back on the train, I wound up eating dinner with a woman - well, for one thing, she dropped a "big cuss" about every other word, which I admit, makes me judge her a little - but she was complaining about how the waitress on the train was "rude" because she directed her to sit in a particular seat, rather than the "better" seat she wanted. Um, that's how the dining car on the train works? They have to fill it up in a certain order so it's efficient? And she was griping about how "rude" everyone was to her. I've not really seen that. I've occasionally had people be a bit brusque, but when you're busy, you're busy. I understand that someone who is involved with waiting on fifteen tables doesn't have time to spend on a lot of chit-chat with someone at a table. Or to be running back and forth five times for five different things ("I need a new fork." "I want more water." "Can't you check and see if there are any different kinds of salad dressing than these three choices?" "When do I get my coffee?" "My steak is undercooked, I asked for well-done and it's still pink inside.")

So I guess I'm saying I can see how having a critical mass of difficult people can lead someone to snap.

And the whole "keep sucking up the bad behavior of the public" attitude? It puts me in mind of someone telling a woman with a verbally abusive spouse to "stay for the sake of the children."

The sad thing is, you can quit a job - but I suspect flight attendants almost everywhere have to put up with the same junk. Retail employees everywhere by and large have to put up with the same stuff.

I think a lot of this comes down to the good old Golden Rule. And to the idea of seeing other people as *people,* not just seeing them as some sort of an obstacle to your happiness. And also it comes down to seeing rules and regulations (like, not walking barefoot on the train> Or, like, not getting up and grabbing your luggage as soon as the plane touches down on the tarmac) as something necessary for the community to work or to be safe - not something dreamed up specifically to thwart your happiness and comfort.

And I don't know how we get back to that. I know some parents are good at teaching their children to behave well, to treat others with kindness - but it seems that there's such a critical mass that have not been taught, or who have forgotten the lessons.

I just throw this out as a sort of a question - what is to be done? What is the appropriate and instructive response to a student who's in your office yelling at you because you busted them for plagiarism? Or who snorts and openly declares the instructive exercise you've planned for class "stupid," and refuses to take part? Do you really have to just smile and put up with it? Or is there something that could be done and said? Because I worry that we're lurching towards a society where most people are rude and grabby and pushy, and I don't want to live in a society like that.