Wednesday, August 26, 2009

More/Less

I've had an up and down couple of weeks - I got a journal article accepted (finally), got some good work done. But I also wrestled with the self-doubt I always wrestle with, lost my patience with myself, got despairing over the new AHA "sugar guidelines" (no more than 9 tsp added sugar in a day, or apparently you get fatty fat fat and then die of TEH DIABEEETUS. And as I like candy and as I like sugar in my tea, and as I have been known in the past to get a wee bit obsessional over reading labels - well, I've had some issues these past couple days with my diet).

So I got to thinking this afternoon. There are things I need to do more of and things I need to do less of. And I should make a list, to remind myself.

Do more of (because it enriches my life and reminds me of who I really am):

pray.

light candles and just watch the flames for a while.

read articles and books in my field, especially about stuff I'm teaching, because it makes me feel smarter, and because the students get excited when I talk about stuff that's being currently researched.

be quiet; listen to music.

play the piano.

do my own home cooking, because it soothes me.

go to bed early when I'm tired.

breathe deeply.

maybe take up yoga again, if I can manage to not use it as a stick to beat myself with on the days when I don't feel up to doing it.

take a break and drink some water.

make tea (yes, even with sugar, if I want it).

read stuff that interests me: ancient history, Christian spirituality, history of technology, how people lived in the middle ages, Dickens novels, Gene Stratton Porter novels, books about maps and geography, funny books.

read my books of comics when I feel sad because they make me feel better.

get out on the weekend and go somewhere, even if I don't have a purpose in mind.

remind myself that I'm smart and capable and basically a decent person.

embroider.

watch old re-runs of NCIS on USA Network if I'm tired after work and what I really want to do is sit and watch old re-runs of NCIS.

Do less of:

feel like I'm "second best" because I'm not as good at the ridiculous self-promotion that some people I know are good at.

watching the news.

getting upset over stuff I basically have no ability to change (save voting when it's time to vote, or praying).

second-guessing myself.

beating myself up for not being as "perfect" as I think I should be.

obsessing over whether what I eat is going to wind up killing me or making me chronically sick.

obsessing over my weight and hating myself for not being slimmer.

tell myself that I'm "wasting my life" because I occasionally like to spend an evening watching old re-runs of NCIS.

worrying overmuch about the future. (Number one, there's lots of stuff I can't control, and number two, the "ultimate" future, at least for one who believes in an afterlife, really is not something that one should "worry" about - it may get bad here but it will ultimately be OK.)

getting irritated because a particular person I know has an irritating voice. They can't help it.

in general, getting irritated at piddly stuff that I don't have control over.

3 comments:

Maggie May said...

Great list, Ricki. I think we all should write one of these once in awhile.

Life is short. I don't think enjoying what we can while we can makes us irresponsible, provided that we can pay for it ourselves, aren't hurting anyone else, and are prepared to deal with any future consequences.

So watch NCIS and definitely do NOT beast yourself up.

Kate P said...

Right on. All good things in moderation.

As for NCIS--I love Abby. But will the new NCIS spin-off be any good???

Mr. Bingley said...

yep, once you can stop letting the piddly stuff get to you things get much better.