Sunday, May 13, 2012

And, I'm done

The semester is over. Graduation was yesterday. I didn't see my Special Snowflake walk but I am trusting that he is really, truly, not just merely graduated, but sincerely graduated. And that he doesn't have any little brothers or sisters that will come my way.

This guy just about killed me this semester and is why I think we need to be very, very careful about both 'college for all' and about how we speak to people with mental/physical/learning disabilities. This was someone with multiple disabilities who had somehow been taught he was a victim, that everyone else was against him, and that the only way he would ever survive was to demand stuff, and to go and complain loudly to people if things weren't going 100% his way. And unfortunately, he was so good at being unpleasant that he did manage to get his way much of the time. I know I caved to him more than I might to someone more polite (or someone without an IEP and an administrator in his back pocket).

Tomorrow is the day that I used to refer to as "screw you guys, I'm goin' home" day, back when I used to watch South Park....there was one episode, I can't remember what it was about, but Cartman got upset about something, and so he said, "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home" in true Cartman form. (And later, he shortened it to "Screw you,...home.") I'm going to visit my parents for a couple of weeks to try to rest up before the summer semester and to try to clear my head.

Graduation this year was unimpressive. Some years we get fantastic speakers, but this year...not so much. The main take - home lesson was "Words have power. So you need to ALWAYS BE POSITIVE with your words." And you know what? Screw that. If you're having a bad day, if something's upset you, it's not healthy to paste on a big dumb smile and go, "Oh, I'm so happy!" Yes, I understand: it's nice not to lose sight of the good things you have. But to pretend that everything's always peachy-keen seems foolish, and also probably not healthy for a lot of people. I know I swallowed a lot of anger this semester, I didn't say things I REALLY wanted to say to people...and I could tell I suffered for it. Keeping up a "nice" exterior when there are parts of your personality that aren't very nice is tough. I know I lack patience sometimes, or I am quick to anger sometimes, or I can't suffer fools lightly....I try to be "nice," because we're told to be so, but there are times, I admit, I just want to go around dope-slapping people like Leroy Gibbs. (Man, that would be SWEET if I could do that and get away with it).

Ah well. Summer semester is typically better because that's when you get the "gunners" who want to graduate early, or the people coming back for continuing education who are out in the workforce (and therefore, have more perspective), or incoming freshman who are really eager to get started....A couple weeks' rest and I'll be ready to go again.

I think I scared one of my classes a little last week, we were talking about final exams and one guy commented that my final was his "last final EVER" and one of the women said, "Don't say that! Some of us have two years to go." And I remarked that I had 17 years to go, if I retire as soon as I hit the "rule of 90" for retirement...seventeen years. (It scares me, a little. I've just completed 12....) I hope I can see it through, I hope I don't get too many more super-entitled people, or at least I get a little support when I tell them they need to grow up and apply their backside to the chair and work.

1 comment:

Kate P said...

Congrats on finishing out the semester. I hope you have an awesome break and an even more awesome summer semester!