Thanksgiving

I'm starting to get excited. Because of a rare convergence of events, I can take a week plus off at Thanksgiving this year (no classes Tuesdays and Thursdays, plus another surprise day off).

I am going to travel to visit my parents. Normally this is a big pain, as normally I'm in the immediately-pre-Thanksgiving crowd of people - and there are few things that can deflate my happiness faster than a cranky, immediately-pre-holiday crowd of people. But this year, I'm traveling a whole week before (and I have a compartment on the train, so even if there ARE cranky people, I get to avoid them). And I have enough time off that I don't have to turn around and go back just as the tiredness from traveling up has worn off.

I really like Thanksgiving. It's one of my favorite holidays. These days, it's kind of a "forgotten" holiday, a little speed bump between Hallowe'en and Christmas. (I would speculate that that is because they can't push a lot of "buy buy buy" for Thanksgiving, unless you're talking about food for the feasts - not many people really decorate a lot, and you don't give gifts, and there aren't costumes, and it seems there's less pressure - in my circle at least - to give a real, over-the-top party for the holiday).

Thanksgiving is fairly simple. Ideally, you get together with people you care a lot about, and you eat a big meal, and you talk about what you're grateful for, and maybe you watch a little football or "Miracle on 34th Street."

Even if you don't have a lot of good close people - or can't get to them - I think MOST people can conjure up thoughts of at least a few things they're thankful for. (Even if it's just a day off).

Oh, I know, in some families the day's probably fraught with drama. In my own family, my brother and his wife are a little conflicted because her mother REALLY REALLY WANTS (read: using guilt as a weapon) for them to come for the day. But they only get one day off - Turkey day itself - and it's just too far for them to travel reasonably. My parents are closer, but they're even kind of far for my brother and sister-in-law to come to (and besides, it would cause some bad feelings if her mom found out).

But at any rate: my immediate family is pretty sane and low-key about stuff (I know my mom's a little disappointed they can't come, but she understands), and so getting to see them is good. Getting to be with them is good.

I realize that cooking the big meal can be kind of a production. My mom's never complained about it - I do help, doing stuff like chopping vegetables and washing pots and pans as needed, but I leave the difficult stuff to her - she's better at making piecrust and rolls than I am, and I'm not sure I could stuff a turkey that well. And she's never complained, and when my dad offered to take us OUT for the dinner, she insisted that she didn't want that, that restaurant food was "not right" for Thanksgiving (and I have to admit, I silently agree. If she had wanted to go out, I wouldn't have said anything, but I'm happy she wants to cook.)

I guess I'm still in kind of the "kid" role, as I don't host the dinner - most of the big responsibilities are off my shoulders; I don't have to pick out the turkey or make the pies or really do much other than what I would have done when I was 10 or 12. And you know, I have to admit, I kind of like that sometimes. Being a responsible adult is very nice and is important to be, most of the time, but it's also nice to be taken care of a little bit sometimes. (And my mom is good at taking care of people.)

I have some pretty rigid ideas of what I "want" to do on Thanksgiving: get up early with my mom and help her start stuff, putting the chestnuts on to boil and such. Then watch the parade. I love the Macy's parade even though they've made two alterations in recent years I'm not so fond of: first, the insertion of scenes to "sell" Broadway plays to the folks watching at home who just MIGHT be traveling to NYC in the holiday season*


(*And I wonder what the stagehands' strike will do to that this year, if it's not worked out by then)

I don't care for it because it slows the parade down - and frankly, I cringe at the dancers out there in their tiny costumes. It's usually cold in NYC that time of year (and that early in the morning) and I wonder if anyone gets hurt from exerting in the cold. (I assume the singing is pre-recorded? I can't imagine someone who is in a show wanting to risk their voice singing in maybe 30 degree weather). And I don't have the kind of life where I can whisk off to New York to see a show during the "holidays," so it's kind of wasted on me.

I'm also sad that they have to practically ground the balloons now. Oh, I know - it's for safety's sake (so much of the loss of good things of my youth seems to be "for safety's sake" these days). Yes, I know, there was a bad freak accident a few years ago, and they have to protect the people watching (and their assets). But it's not the same as it was when I was a kid. (And if it's real windy, there may be no balloons at all. And really, the balloons are WHY I watch the parade.)

So anyway. I still watch the parade even though I kind of go into eye-rolly bored teenager mode when the show-pieces come on, or when the hosts go through their litany of excruciating puns. (I like puns as much as the next person, but here's a clue: puns are funny when they are unexpected. When they're tortured into being, they're just painful and embarrassing to watch).

And if either "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34th Street" (the 1947 version, and preferably un-colorized) is on after that, I generally want to watch that, too.

Because part of my love of Thanksgiving is that I see it as the Gateway to Christmas. (Oh, yes, I know - those of us who are practicing Christians have that strange split-personality this time of year - in church we celebrate Advent, which is in some ways Lent Lite, where we search our souls and prepare for what is to happen. But in our "outside," secular, social lives, there's a whirl of parties and gift-obtaining and decorating and things that are rather un-Advent-like. But I enjoy both, and I hope my love of putting up decorations and baking cookies isn't biting too much into my contemplation of the Divine).

When I was a kid, the day after Thanksgiving was the day decorations went up. Not just in the stores - on the town square in the little town where we lived. The fire department's bucket trucks would be out, putting up the lights on the spruce trees and putting the big mouse on the clocktower (one of the famous and memorable holiday decorations in my hometown was that a large mouse - a re-enactment, I guess, of Hickory Dickory Dock - was placed on the clocktower at Christmas. Funny, how somehow nursery rhymes and fairy tales seem to be brought out at Christmas...I never thought about that before).

Now, of course, it's a lot earlier (it's a real mental disconnect to walk into a Hobby Lobby on a 101* day in August and see Christmas trees up), but I'm able to kind of ignore the decorations and stuff - I'm not one of those people who complains about being "sick of Christmas" when it comes. (It helps that I'm usually so busy between early October and Thanksgiving that I don't really do much shopping). But at Thanksgiving, I let myself start thinking about Christmas, noticing the decorations, pulling out my (many, many) CDs of Christmas music and listening to them.

At any rate - Thanksgiving is, in my mind, partly the doorway into a lot of good things.

But Thanksgiving is good in and of itself. I think it's important for us in modern-day America to set aside a day when we think about all the good things we have, all the things we should be thankful for. I tend to think that gratitude and a sense of entitledness are mutually incompatible - that if you feel one, you're not going to feel the other. And I do think we need more stopping-and-thinking-and-feeling-grateful in our culture.

So many things. So much to be grateful for.

I think I recounted the story before of how once, in a Thanksgiving get-together with a group of friends, we were going around and listing things we were thankful for. And I said "indoor plumbing" and everyone laughed. But it's true - have you tried living without it? It is such a great blessing to be able to turn on a tap and have clean, safe water - and, for that matter, water heated to a desirable temperature if you're going to bathe.

Really - indoor plumbing is one of the things I'm most grateful for. I'm serious about that.

And then there's the meal. My family is very traditional; we have the same menu (pretty much) that we've had my entire life: turkey. New England-style bread and chestnut stuffing. Mashed potatoes and gravy from the turkey (not giblet gravy; I think my dad's the only one who likes giblets and my brother and I actively detest them). Sweet potatoes and/or corn. Brussels sprouts, for those who like them (the sweet potatoes and/or corn are for those who don't). Homemade dinner rolls. Cranberry sauce. Pie, either pumpkin, apple, mince, or two of those three. Tea after dinner (milk or water with dinner - or, if we're dining apart from a very temperance-minded friend who we have been inviting in recent years, wine, for those who want it).

And it is something I look forward to every year. I am not one of those foodies who wants something innovative - innovation is fine at other times, but Thanksgiving is when I want what I've been having for years. And don't talk to me about the calories or fat content - it is just one day out of the year. (Yes - the little mailer from my health-insurance plan came the other day, and one of the "feature stories" was "OMG do you know how many calories are in Thanksgiving dinner OMG!" Thanks, Captain Bringdown. [Though I would argue their portion quantities are off - I NEVER eat 6 whole ounces of turkey; I'd think I consume closer to 3. And a half cup of potatoes rather than a full cup. For me, the point is to have enough room to enjoy EVERYTHING and I know the limits of my appetite] But still - we hear the tired old drumbeat of "calories bad, carbs bad, fat bad, food bad" every day of our lives - can we have at least ONE day off where the idea is "just enjoy; this is only one day out of the year"?)

At any rate - it will be a good break. A break I really feel like I need. So I'm counting the (few!) days down to this Thursday, when I get to go to see my family.

And, oh, there is SO much I have to be thankful for this year.