Friday, July 31, 2009

Ripped from the headlines...

Two things overheard on Stupid Local News this morning:

1. "The Health-Care Reform bill is back from the dead, they may vote on it before their recess"

Back from the dead? Zombie bills are the worst kind. They lurch around and moan "taaaaaaax dooooooolllllllars, taaaaaaaaax doooooooolllllllars." And you can't kill them; you have to dismember them.

2. More talk about how tanning beds are dangerous and can give you Teh Cancer.

Okay, how long before we see the class-action suit television ads:

"Have you or a loved one been killed, injured, damaged in some way, or had your self-esteem dinged by a TANNING BED? You should know that TANNING BEDS are dangerous and can be known to cause skin cancer, wrinkles, leathery-skin, and other disorders. If you believe you or a loved one have been injured, call Cheatem, Screwem, and Howe, attorneys at law, to join a SPECIAL CLASS-ACTION SUIT!!! Time may be running out!"

(Incidentally, I also expect a class-action suit about Tylenol to be coming sometime soon.)

1 comment:

Kate P said...

1. I can see Schoolhouse Rock coming up with a song about zombie bills, can't you?

2. Dude, that "Yaz" stuff went from the "Our last commercials may not have been clear" to "Have you been injured by Yaz?" in a matter of months. If it hasn't happened with tanning beds by now, it's never gonna happen. People who use them want to. . . I'm actually just as afraid of the alternative spray-tan stuff. Do I really want to inhale that?

WV: "angstriz"--oh, don't you start with me, too, Blogger.