scenes from an exam

Well, my "11:15 scholar" (the guy who didn't remember my name, didn't know when the exam was, and didn't know the correct time of the class) never showed to the final.

Maybe he forgot where the building was.

I did have a number of people (people who ATTENDED class) do well on the exam. One person aced it but considering who it was that did not surprise me.

I handed out candy canes - sort of a small tradition I have. Two people out of 25 thanked me for them.

My "four times miss an appointment" guy asked if he could make up the missed quiz. I decided, heck, I already had it made up, it's the holidays, it's not going to make a big difference on his grade so I said yes. He was very grateful which I guess made it sort of worth it but I still wish he had made it to the first appointment. I hope he doesn't pull that kind of stuff on the other profs; eventually he will meet up with one who is not nice about those kinds of things.

One girl's cell phone went off towards the end (there were 3 people left in the room). She had it on "vibrate." One of the other girls there in the room said, "That sounded like a fart!" and giggled. I kind of looked at her and said, "*I* would have said it sounded like a sick cow." Well, it did.

One guy who griped all up and down about the door being open (because a little hall noise was getting in) made about as much noise as a galloping rhinocerous when he got up and gathered up his stuff to leave. Hint to guy: don't dig for your keys in a nearly-silent room where people are taking an exam when you can do so after you get out in the hall. Especially after you've griped about it being 'too loud' in the room.

*******

I don't have the winner-clueless-student story though. One of my colleagues holds that honor. One of her students called the secretary AFTER my colleague's exam had begun. First, she asked: "I can't remember...is my exam in [class X] supposed to be this morning?"

and then when she found out that, yes, the exam had already begun, she said, "Oh, my gosh! Would it be too much trouble* for you to go up and tell [Professor Y] that I cannot start my car and am going to have to walk over there to take the exam?"

Well, it turns out this student lives in the dormitory. Which is approximately a quarter mile from my building. I can cover the distance (at a leisurely pace) in about six minutes. I would not dream of driving it, mainly because of parking issues (but also because I *like* to walk).

But anyway.

(*oh, and: I am coming to the conclusion that the correct answer to that question, whenever posed by someone who is clueless yet acting entitled, is always "Yes. Yes, it is too much trouble.")

Professor Y later told me that this young lady is ALWAYS late. This is for an 11:00 class. She once confronted the student and the student said, "It's too hard for me to get there that early!"

Honey, you live in the DORM. Someone else cleans your toilets and shower for you. Someone else cooks your meals for you. You live a very short walk from where your classes are held. We do not have some elaborate dress code requiring stays and an Elizabethan collar to attend class - you can show up in pajama pants and a halter top and no one will say anything (well, some of the profs may roll their eyes, but they will not SAY anything).

Like I told Professor Y: my advice to her would be, "Go ahead and apply for welfare right now, because that sounds like an ideal career for you. And I'd almost be happy for my tax dollars to go to support you, because I will feel I am doing a public service by keeping you from driving your prospective co-workers insane."

The bad news? I am going to get her in one of my classes eventually.

Is there any kind of medication that can be taken prophylactically to prevent one's head from exploding? Because I think I will need those meds. (My class is also an 11:00 class, and if she pulls that "I can't be on time" stuff with me, I'm going to be very unhappy.)