Thursday, January 13, 2011

thank God I don't have office hours today

So I can shut my door and be in my own little office with the reading I need to do and my Internet radio.

I have colleagues talking snarkily about how the university is going to Hell (I admit, there have been some changes this fall I'm not happy about, and perhaps the reason their talk bothers me so much is that I hope the changes are an anomaly and not a trend, and I don't like the thought of maybe having to polish up the CV and put it out places...and, oh wharrgarblll, go through the tenuring process again somewhere else. Ugh. (I did tell a friend recently, "If I leave this campus I will probably leave academia" but I don't know what else I'd do to earn my bread. I don't think I have sufficient money-acumen to go into business for myself - and I know I have too low a tolerance for not knowing when or whether I will get a next paycheck)

And someone is cussing out their computer. Loudly.

I don't know, sometimes I feel like the whole rest of the world has pms and I am the only sane one.

It's just...for my own sanity, I cannot listen to or participate in any more discussions of how things are getting worse. Yeah, yeah, we're headed for a currency meltdown. Yeah, yeah, China owns our asses. Yeah, yeah, we're on the slippery slope to whatever.

You know what? There's not a fat lot I can do about any of that. I've lived within my means. I've done my job. I've taken steps so that if things get really bad, I at least won't be among the first ones to die. (Though if things get REALLY bad, is it necessarily that great to survive an extra year and then starve or freeze or whatever else?). All I can do now is live my life and pray that things won't get as bad as some people are saying. And maybe not be quite so penny-squeezingly frugal, maybe buy the occasional small treat or luxury for myself, if indeed our currency is going to worth toilet paper in a few years.

I don't know. Locally in my tiny personal-sized pan pizza of the world, things are pretty good...I have enough money, my health is good, I have an interesting career, I have fascinating hobbies. I'm sure some of the other people around me I've heard giving voice to how "everything is falling apart" have some of the same good things in their lives...I don't know. I like to focus on the good things but it becomes increasingly difficult when you get all this static of bad things being discussed around you.

Right now I'm thankful for internet radio. And for having an office with a door. And for the interesting books I'm reading now. And for the students in my classes who give a damn. And for my colleagues, at least when they're being funny and interesting instead of whiny sourpusses.

I think this is just periodic overwhelmedness at ALL THE PEOPLE. Over break I was mainly just around family who are pretty much sane and don't dwell on the bad stuff.

1 comment:

Dave R. said...

Here we have the whole world cranky and out of sorts, and there you go projecting contentment and gratitude. C'mon, get with the program, Ricki!