Because artificial intelligence will never be a match for natural stupidity

I know, it's too easy to write posts about "clueless students." Kind of like shooting fish in a barrel (And yes - it is possible to shoot fish. I have students who bowfish. Yes, with a modified crossbow).

And I know some people go to blogs like Teacher Lady and Get Lost Mr. Chips and others and leave snarky comments about how the people should just get out of the teaching biz because they're always dissing their students on the blog...and you know? The reason we write about this is that we expect better and are genuinely dismayed when people fail to behave up to some minimal expectation.

Two examples:

I get weekly allergy shots. I do this at the studen health services so I often get to see what else walks in the door there - a cross section of the student body.

Today was not so good a day for the cross section. This guy came in - first, he stood around and complained that it was "muggy" and "too hot" in the waiting room (Um, it's like 45* outside so they have the heat on? And it really wasn't muggy in there).

Then, when the receptionist handed him the packet that all the first-timers get to fill out (full of all kinds of questions ranging from "When was your last tetanus shot?" to "Are you a transgendered individual?")

And then, he begins whining - it's too long to fill out! I don't know the answers to these questions! Do I really have to do this whole thing?

And I'm sitting there. And I want to say: Dude. You are getting FREE HEALTH CARE.

Seriously. Free health care. Anyone who's been out in the working world would be able to appreciate that.

Then - and this is like nearly the first question on there - he goes "Student ID? What is that?"

And the receptionist responds, that's your ID number.

"Oh, like my social security number?"
"No - over the summer we changed all the student ID's. Do you have your ID card with you?"
"Yeah, but it's like two years old."
"Why didn't you update it?"
(Shrugs) "I never needed it until now."

Okay. This is the point where if I had been the receptionist, I would have said to Mopey Boy: Go and get your card updated and then come back to get your FREE HEALTH CARE. I mean - he didn't have a sucking chest wound and he wasn't vomiting and he didn't have a limp or anything, so he couldn't have been all that sick.

But instead, she tried to find it out for him.

And then - because I've got more sweetness in my soul than common sense, I said, "I'm a faculty member. I can log on to the registrar's database and find it out for you if you tell me the number code of one of the classes you are in."

And he was like "Um...I don't really know. Communications?"
And I said, "I need the number code."
And he said "Um...103?"
And I said, "There is no 103. We use a four digit code."
And he says "Um...1103?"
So I try 1103 and there is no COMM 1103. I am about to suggest that it's 1203, when the nurse finally manages to find a file on him and get the number.

So - Mopey Boy required three people (three WOMEN no less) to find a number for him that every single student at this university should have memorized. I mean - I knew my new driver's license number by heart in three weeks after they changed it over. And even if I didn't - I carry it with me and I can look it up. And I get it renewed when necessary (Students are supposed to renew their ID at the start of each fall term).

Example 2:

One of my colleagues had a student miss an exam. Her normal policy is: call me on the day of the exam or before, or else no make-up. He demanded a make-up even though he had not called.

She asked him why he couldn't call.

His response: "I got bit by a spider and my arms wouldn't work."

(OBSpongeBob reference: "That makes TWO things around here that WON'T WORK.")

I mean, seriously: how did he eat? How did he pee? If he had someone helping him eat and pee, surely that person would love him enough (especially if they had been willing to help him pee) to pick up a phone and dial so he could tell his teacher why he was absent.


The thing that drives me up the wall? If I'm seriously on the verge of losing my marbles and I need a couple of mental-health hours in the evening, and so I spent the time reading or watching tv or sleeping instead of grading, and the next day the class meets the grading isn't done - everyone is all up in my face about it. They get on my case because I didn't have the grading done the very next day. (That is a very rare occurrence..less than once or twice a semester). It's like - they want all sorts of slack cut for them, but when the teacher wigs out and needs a few hours to decompress, that's just all bad and wrong.

I suppose it's because we're supposedly inhuman monsters, and so we shouldn't need time to relax. Or we don't deserve it. Or something.