Friday, November 24, 2006

Big things and little things

I was thinking this afternoon - after having seen my parents off on their return trip - about all the things I am thankful for.

I tried classifying it into "big things" and "little things," but you know? Some of my little things might be someone else's big things, and vice versa.

I do think there are a few Big Big Things I have to be thankful for:

Feeling the love of God in my life, my faith, which gives me strength and hope and pushes me to be a better person than I would otherwise.

My health

Family that understands me and loves me anyway. (My mom and I were watching one of those "slow news day" stories about happiness and they made the comment that married people are happier than single people. She looked at me and said, "I don't think that's always true...look at you, look at [family friend who also never married]. I think people need to know who they are and that's what makes them happy." It's a littler thing but I'm very very glad I don't have the kind of parents who ever did the "so, when are you going to get married" or "Are you seeing anyone?" kind of thing at family gatherings.)

Living in a free country where being an unattached woman doesn't mean I have to get a permission slip from my dad or my brother to go out and shop. The fact that I can own a house IN MY OWN NAME and ONLY in my own name.

The fact that I can worship as I choose (or not). That there's not some state-run version of God (regardless of what some say) that I have to believe in.

The fact that I can vote. And if I don't like what the government is doing, I can complain about it and try to get it changed.

I am thankful I have a good job - as much as I bitch about it some days, it IS a good job. I'm thankful I have something interesting to go and do when I get up in the morning and that on a good day I feel like I'm making other people's lives a little bit better.

I'm also thankful it pays well. I can afford the necessities of life and a lot of things that are luxuries to many people.

I am thankful that I get along well with my co-workers, that they are generally sane and kind and funny and make me laugh and shore me up when I'm doubting myself. Good co-workers can make a challenging job wonderful, just as bad ones can make even an otherwise good job unpleasant.

I am thankful to have the love, respect, and friendship of the people I go to church with, the way they have enfolded me like a sort of second family, since I am so far away from my biological family.

I'm thankful I live in a safe place. I don't have to worry about making sure I have a loaded pistol in my nightstand drawer to ward off potential home invaders. I don't have to worry about getting someone to walk me to my car if I have an evening meeting or if I choose to go to an evening concert or art-school thing up on campus.

I'm thankful that there are police and firefighters out there who will risk their lives to protect the citizens of my town, my state, my country.

I am thankful there are men and women who are willing to put their lives on hold, undergo grueling training, go far away from family, and face a very real risk of death, to protect people they've never met (like me) from harm and to maintain the freedom that we all take for granted so often. Or who liberate nations from dictators. Or who assist in the recovery effort after natural disasters. And who often endure rude or harsh words from those who may disagree with their mission, and who confuse the mission with those who carry it out.

I am thankful I have a house - that I can return to it at the end of the day, lock the door behind me, and be protected from the wind and weather and from other people I might not want to deal with. I have a place to keep my stuff. I have a place that is my "castle" and my "keep," where I have say over what goes.

I'm thankful that, despite the occasional black mood or fit of crankiness, I'm a generally happy person, that I'm usually capable (or more than capable) of enjoying the little things of life.

Some of the (maybe) smaller things, in no particular order:

I'm thankful I have a sewing room in my house. My mom looked a little envious when she saw the room and commented that it had nice natural light in it for working.

I'm thankful for indoor plumbing. I know several people - not even people who are all that old - who grew up without it, and hearing their stories makes me very glad when I wake up with a full bladder at night and I know I just need to shuffle down the hall to take care of that need. And I say a little prayer of thanks whenever I turn on the shower and feel warm water coming out. The water is warm - and even more than that, it's clean - and it's so reliable that most people take it for granted (That was not always true in some of the former Soviet republics, or so I have read).

I'm thankful for electricity, and for electricity that is so consistent that it's a surprise when you flip the switch and lights DON'T come on.

I'm thankful for little bedside lamps that make reading in bed easy and pleasant.

I'm thankful for whole-house air conditioning, that makes the world so much more pleasant in the summer.

Likewise, in the winter, I'm thankful for central heating.

I'm thankful I know how to read, that I read well, and that reading is to me a major form of entertainment. I'm thankful my mom and dad took time when I was a little kid to read to me, and that they also bought me books for my birthday and Christmas. I love books today because they did when I was a child.

I'm thankful my mom and grandmas taught me how to sew, to knit, to crochet, to embroider...all of that crafty stuff. It's a constant source of delight and solace to me - delight to find a new pattern I want to try, delight when I finish something and it's just as good as I hoped, delight when I wear something I made and someone says, "Oh, that's so pretty...I bet you made that" meaning that it's nicer than what's available in the stores here. And it's a source of solace when a day has gone badly - I can sit down and pick up the project I'm currently working on and have something that goes well, something that I feel competent (or better) at when I feel incompetent at other things.

I'm thankful for my sense of smell and taste, because without them a lot of pleasures of life - flowers, good soap, baking bread, chocolate, tea, a cold glass of orange juice first thing in the morning - would not be nearly as enjoyable.

I'm thankful for the pretty hardwood floors in my house.

I'm thankful for my bed at night. What a wonderful idea - a soft, springy platform raised up enough off the ground so it's easy to get into and out of, with clean crisp sheets on it and a warm quilt in the winter. So much nicer than the piles of straw that my ancestors doubtless slept on.

I'm thankful for all the clever people who write good books, funny television shows, moving films - all of the people whose work entertains me or uplifts me or diverts me.

I'm thankful that I live in a part of the country unlikely to be badly affected by hurricanes or earthquakes.

I'm thankful for the infinite variety of tea, and that I can find good tea pretty easily. It is one of the great pleasures of my life and I take a lot of joy in choosing the exact tea whose flavor appeals to me at the moment, or in trying a new tea I've never tried before.

I'm thankful for well-stocked grocery stores, where I can walk in and buy bread and cheese and fruit and vegetables and meat and milk and chocolate and crackers and cookies and even frozen, pre-prepared meals without having to wait in line for hours, or have the right kind of ration stamps, or bribe someone. A minister I knew years ago talked about a man who had got permission to emigrate to the U.S. from the Soviet Union. He broke down crying the first time he saw a U.S. grocery store because he didn't believe that people could have so much choice of different food. That story always humbles me, because the variety and quality of food we have available is something I often take for granted, and in fact, I complain when the grocery doesn't carry the exact type of cheese I want or if the citrus seems a bit pricey.

I'm thankful for the Internet - I have contact with people I'd never have otherwise met. I can research things on the spur of the moment, like "what was the name of that guy who played that character in that movie?" I can let all of my pent-up blather out in a blog. I can order all kinds of stuff. Amazon is a wonder. All of the online craft-suppliers are a wonder. Vermont Country Store, Stahmann's Pecans, Adagio Tea...I can have almost everything I want delivered to my door. It doesn't matter so much that I live in a small rural area with only a wal-mart as my grocery/shopping option, because if there's something I particularly want, I can find it online somewhere.

I'm thankful for holidays - a chance to have a bit of a change, to relive old traditions, to generate new happy memories.

I'm thankful for students who come back after taking my class to tell me that what I taught them is useful in their job or graduate work. I'm thankful for people who give me useful input, either in the form of positive feedback or constructive criticism that I can actually use to improve.

I'm thankful for magazines with their glossy pretty pictures and their short, easily-read stories to divert me when I'm too tired for a book and television just seems stultifying.

I'm thankful my father taught me to be frugal, so I have a good cushion of money in my savings account. I had a Car Emergency earlier this summer that took several thousand dollars to fix, but I was simply able to dip into my savings (which I have mostly already replenished) to take care of it. I'm also thankful he taught me to put aside money for my retirement rather than depending on the government or my state pension. I may still get those, but I don't have to depend on them.

I'm thankful for cartoons. They make me laugh, some of the "educational" ones like Veggie Tales are actually kind of uplifting, they are a better escape for me than soap operas or reality shows.

Even though I have serious doubts about my "looks," I'm still thankful that I'm basically normal in appearence - two eyes that work, two ears that are evenly spaced, hair, a nose in the right place, teeth....I'm glad I didn't have to undergo lots of surgeries to be functional or to be someone who didn't get stared at in horror on the street.

I'm thankful for free time. For the ability to pursue my hobbies, or read, or keep up my house. I'm glad I don't work two or three jobs, or have a long commute like some people do. I'm glad that most days I can eke out at least an hour to myself.

...and I'm sure there are things I have forgotten, and will slap my forehead over later.

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