Saturday, January 24, 2009

One tiny thing I wish...

That in this place where I live, this particular culture, people didn't automatically assume any female over 25 was married...and feel a need to inquire as to "why not?" if you aren't.

Oh, I never get snarky about it. I simply tell them what is, as I believe it to be, the truth: "I never met the right guy."

But, dear Lord, I get SO TIRED of explaining that. Or responding that my surname IS my maiden name (that's a variant of it. I suppose it's because people around here are so big into family connections; most women, upon meeting someone new who JUST MIGHT know some of their kin will tell the person "I used to be a Miller" or "My name used to be Castleberry.")

I don't know. Most of the time being single is what I think I would have chosen - I have free time to do things I couldn't have done with my life if I had married young and had kids - but sometimes having to EXPLAIN why I'm not married....it just makes me feel weird.

I should be used to feeling weird by now; I've felt weird for the majority of my life (starting in grade school). But I really am about ready to start fitting in, to stop feeling like I'm the oddball in the room.

1 comment:

Kate P said...

You're too nice. I'd probably tell them that's a really rude question. Because it is rude. Well-intentioned sometimes ("But you're so attractive/nice/smart!"), but mostly nosy and rude.

Everybody's got some weirdness. Most of the time I try to embrace mine, but I know what you mean about feeling like an oddball (and yes it started in grade school for me, too). Too bad we're not around the corner from each other!