Gotta laugh to keep down the rage

News item: Northeastern University says grads cannot shake hands with the dean, citing Swine Flu fears

So, I present to you, my Top Ten list of alternate "congratulations" the dean could share with the graduates:

10. Chest bump.

9. Interpretive dance moves

8. Do the Hustle

7. Air kiss

6. F-i-inger W-i-iggle

5. "Gang" hand symbols. (Alternatives: flipping the bird or "the shocker." And yes, I leave it to you to Google that. Don't do it at work.)

4. Ear tugs, a la Carol Burnett

3. "You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out..."

2. Pat them on the butt like a football coach and growl, "Go get 'em, tiger!" (Though that might go over better at Princeton)

And the number one alternate congratulation the dean could share with his graduates?

1. Turn the linings of their pockets out - the student to signify the years of crippling student loans; the dean to signify shrinking "slush funds" provided by generous donors.