petty pet peeves

Ken mentioned his frustration with the inability of even the governing agency of the group to correctly pronounce Realtor.

Which got me thinking about the various petty things that bug me.


One - which I noted in a comment on It Comes in Pints, is the habit 'round here of referring to a matched set of furnishings as a "bedroom SUIT" or "livingroom SUIT." No, no, no. It is "suite." There's an E on the end, it derives from the French, please look up pronunciations before you make a commercial.

Likewise, poor grammar in commercials - even when used possibly for effect - bugs me. There's a company around here that uses the phrase "Get you one!" (or perhaps it's "Getcha one!") in reference to their product, and it makes me grind my teeth every time I hear it.

Likewise - the "homemade" ads. If you cannot act, if you cannot read words off a cue card, please hire someone else to do your commercials. We have a fine theater program at my university and I'd be willing to bet any number of the students would happily do your ad - perhaps even for free, as experience. And then the rest of us aren't subjected to your stricken-looking face speaking in a mumbly monotone about your car dealership.

I've probably more-than-adequately griped about cell phones already, but right now my main pet peeve is the whole "ringtone" phenomenon. I had a student just stop by to talk to me and in the process, his phone rang. His ringtone is "Can't Touch This." (remember that song?). That's really more than I need to know about the person.
(That said: one of my friends, her son was changing the ringtones on all the family's phones. Made his dad's "Dude Looks like a Lady." The funny thing - and I totally couldn't tell her why it was so funny - is well, he kind of does.)

I also hate it that wal-mart, some of the grocery stores, the Hobby Lobby near me, and others, feel the need to regularly totally change where all the merchandise is located - for example, moving the magazines to where the school supplies used to be and placing the school supplies where they used to keep the sunscreen. I realize the reason stores DO this - they figure that by making you hunt for something, you will find lots of other (unnecessary) stuff you want to buy - but it just makes me angry. And makes me likely to buy LESS.

In a similar vein - I hate, with the fury of a thousand blazing suns, the wal-mart corporate practice of only carrying a product for six months or so, and then dropping it. I don't even want to know why. I don't care if it was that it wasn't selling as well, or that the supplier of some alternate brand cut you a better deal. Stop switching brands on me. When I find a brand I like, I prefer to stick with it.

And for companies that discontinue good products, or reformulate on a whim - I hope you get cooties. I had a variety of shampoo that worked very well for me - better, in fact, than any other I'd ever used - and the manufacturer retooled the whole damn line and reformulated everything, and now I'm hunting for a new good shampoo. Not a way to build brand loyalty! (Is there even an expectation of brand loyalty any more? Or is the idea to sell something novel, and then change it up before people have a chance to get "bored"? With things like shampoo, brassieres, and make-up, trust me, I don't want to have to switch every 6 months and spend the time and money to vet several new brands or types before I find the one I like).

Another pet peeve is with weather forecasters. When we're in a drought, don't act all mopey because it's going to rain. Trust me - there are people in your community who will be down on their knees praising God if it rains. Even if it's on a Saturday. Even if it's on a Saturday that is also the fourth of July. Likewise, don't act surprised when it's cold in January or hot in July. We're not stupid; we weren't born yesterday. We're not going to go, "A-hyuk, weather forecaster said it'd be 90 on July 1! Did you ever?" Just report the damn weather; don't try to editorialize it.

Likewise, I hate it when forecasters act like it's their fault the weather isn't what people want. Again: we're not stupid. We know you don't make the weather. It's not that cute or funny. Most "obvious" jokes aren't.

All of the fluff junk on the local news bugs me. I DON'T need a "relationship corner" moment at 6:30 am. I DON'T need "news of celebrities." I DON'T need a "recipe of the week" feature. Tell me:
is the world likely to come to an end today
what is going on in the outside world
what crimes were committed in my community over the past day
does there seem to be a pattern to those crimes and should I be concered
what is going on in local politics
am I going to be stuck with a stupid new sales tax any time soon
what is the weather going to be
what are the scores of the major sports contests of the day before

If I want to hear celebrity news, I will watch the "E" channel. But I don't, so I don't.

I also don't like schmoozy, in-joking newscasters - especially at 6 am. I'm a morning person and *I* can't take that perky-ass crap that early. Please hang it up.

Driving. I have a lot of driving related pet peeves:

people who don't use their turn signal

people who drive down the highway with the turn signal blinking endlessly, so I don't know if they're planning to change lanes EVENTUALLY or if they just forgot the thing on.

people who "lane-jockey" in heavy traffic. You're an accident waiting to happen, bub.

people who drive in the fast lane, on an interstate, in some POS Ford pickup from 1948 that won't go over 30 mph. (And they'd probably have one turn signal endlessly blinking, except 1948 Ford pickups didn't have turn signals yet)

women who have bumper stickers referring to them as "Princess." When I see the word "princess" applied in that context, I interpret it as "high-maintenance, self-entitled witch-with-a-b." Usually I am not far off the mark. Especially when the woman in question is over 25 years of age.

People who like to assert their "betterness" than me also get under my skin.
The evangelistic vegetarians who either poke at me about animal cruelty (look, I didn't kill the cow myself) or about how "unhealthy" meat is, or how "gross" it is, or whatever. I don't care if you're a vegetarian or not. In fact, if I know you are and we go out to lunch together, I'll be more likely to order a veggie meal out of cameraderie and a desire not to offend. But please, don't criticize what I eat in the privacy of my own home.

The person who walks EVERYWHERE in town - who never uses their car - and who talks about (a) how much gas they save, (b) how little pollution they generate, or (c) how healthy it is. Look - I'd walk to work except I live on a street where pit bulls occasionally run loose and I kind of value my connective tissue. And it's also about eleventy hundred percent humidity today - I got winded walking 500 feet from the parking lot. Don't assume that because I do or don't do something it's because I'm unconscious of the alternative or am avoiding it purely because I'm what you would consider a wrong-thinker.

The person who drops their kid off at Youth Group with a list of things they can and cannot eat, should and should not eat, should and should not do that is as long as their arm. I will watch out for food allergies because I understand that is a matter of life and death. But if keeping your child's diet perfectly pure of white flour or refined sugar is so bloomin' important to you, either YOU stay and run interference, or keep your kid at home. I'm one of three (sometimes four) adults with a group of 20 plus kids; I cannot give your precious baby the attention you apparently believe he or she deserves.

Actually - just in general - people who have strange food issues. People who won't eat certain things, not because of allergies or religious convictions or whatever, but because they just don't like the thing, or were scared by it as a child, or whatever and who HAVE TO INFORM EVERYONE LOUDLY ABOUT IT. Look. I am a seriously picky eater. But if there's something I don't like out at a buffet - here's a thought - I skip over it and don't take any. Or I take a tiny little bit to try, because you know, I might decide I like it after all. But it's annoying to have someone walk in to a buffet and announce "THERE IS NOTHING AT ALL I CAN EAT HERE" when they didn't provide any of the food. [and incidentally - that's another picky-eater secret: offer to bring something and then make something you like. That way, you know there will be at least one thing you "can" eat].

People who criticize and complain about stuff they had no hand in helping with. I belong to a women's civic group, okay? And the average age of the group is probably about 55. (I am, by far, the youngest member). I happen to currently be head of the group. I have one member who calls me up on a regular basis to exhort me to get younger members so the group won't die off. In fact, she gets rather unpleasant to me about it. And every time, I explain to her, the same thing: I have asked people. The people in my generation are either too busy with careers, kids, or both to even express an interest. I am not going to 'kidnap' some poor woman and drag her to our meeting. AND I HAVE ASKED LOTS OF PEOPLE. And this woman - she can use the phone, she knows people, she could call people up and invite them. But instead, she gripes to me, makes it sound like *I'm* failing the group by not bringing in oodles of new members. It's almost enough to make me resign my presidency.

Oh - and one last one. People who say, "Oh, that kind of power must be nice" when they find out you're head of some group. No, it usually isn't. It's usually kind of a headache. You have lots of extra responsibility and you're usually the person others bitch to when they don't like something, even if you have nothing directly or even indirectly to do with it.