the Undead Army

Yeah, yeah, this is probably disrespectful and I may get a lecture from some swoop-in commenter, but whatever. It amuses me and I can kind of overlook the disrespectfulness.

Cullen talked about Zombie Teddy Roosevelt ("I eat your ideology but cannot stomach it!"). That made me laugh and I have to admit, in a cartoonier world, Teddy Roosevelt would make an excellent zombie. Perhaps the best former-president zombie.

So, the Undead Army (which is coming to kick the wussified butts of so many in modern politics and society) would have to be led up by Zombie Teddy Roosevelt.

And then there'd have to be Reanimated William of Ockham (because I'm the one writing this thing, and because I have a soft spot for the fellow).

I also think a back-from-the-dead Jefferson, maybe one with superpowers, would be a must - I'd like to see him kick some congressional butt and say "This is NOT what I meant in the Declaration of Independence!"

And of course, John Adams would have to be there as well, if for no other reason than to be a goad to keep Jefferson from wanting to retreat into the Library of Congress or pop down to Charlottesville to see how his little experiment in education was faring.

We'd also have to have some more badass types in there. Some people who are good at kicking tail and taking names. TR would be great at this, I think, but he needs some backup...Zombie Andrew Jackson would probably make a great right-hand man. And also maybe Vampire Robert E. Lee, or Undead Stonewall Jackson, or Zombie W.T. Sherman. (Yeah, it would probably be hard to keep Sherman from wanting to burn Lee's and Jackson's tents, but maybe once they've crossed the Jordan, they all become brothers or something...). And maybe a couple of anonymous Spartans for good measure. And perhaps Reanimated General Garibaldi. (If for no other reason than that he would lend some panache to the proceedings).

And on the oratory front - well, Jefferson fits in there, but I'll also use Cullen's suggestion of C.S. Lewis. And for good measure, I'd bring back Pericles, because he would have an awful lot to say about the incivility and me-first-ism of modern life. And maybe Madison, as well, though he'd be quieter and probably hang back a bit before getting out some good lines.

And we'd have to bring back Douglas MacArthur. For no other reason than that he could say, "I have returned.....for your BRAINS!"

Also, there might be a few folks (MacArthur among them) who would just be good to have because they'd put a pants-soiling fear into the pork-belly people, or the folks who would drive 50 miles an hour in a residential zone, or the nannying administrator types.

Of course, there'd be a few folks who, brought back, might be a bit of a liability. I suspect Ben Franklin - as much as I love the man - might manage to schmooze his way into government rather than trying to change it (though maybe he'd work as a mole and report back to Jefferson and company). And Hamilton - well, as Cullen said, he might wind up being caught in some kind of embarrassing sting.