Consuming

I don't have issues with conservation. I try to do my part - keeping excess lights turned off, taking quick showers most of the time (in the summer, a quick lukewarm shower works pretty well), not driving about aimlessly.

(One of the things that surprises me, where I live - though I guess it shouldn't, we're a small town kind of far from lots of things - is the tendency some folks have just to go out and drive...drive with no goal in mind, without planning to go anywhere. That's sort of different from what I always knew, from what my family always did. Oh, maybe sometimes we'd take a more circuitous route to the restaurant after church, or we'd decide to go somewhere "new and different." But I'm often a little startled when someone new here - and it seems students especially do it - ask me where I drive to when I'm out 'driving for fun.' And I'm never able to answer that...if I'm driving, I'm going to the next town over that has better shopping, or I'm going to one of my field sites, or something. I'd like to go out and just explore but that's so not a part of my background and upbringing that I don't think of it. And now, with gas closing in on $2 - not so much).

But some people - and I read this on some folks' blogs - really get into the whole conservation/environmentalism issue so much that it makes me twitch a little to read what they're thinking about.

There's this horrible sense of GUILT. Guilt for just living, guilt for needing to consume food and resources and stuff like having to drive to work. People who are racked with guilt every time they spend money on something.

It is almost if they think, "If I were only a better person, I could have zero impact on the environment!"

And here's a truth of life: for things to live, other things must die. The lion has to kill the gazelle to eat it. The bear ripping open a log is going to kill all the grubs in it that he eats. Even the (comparatively) peaceable deer is going to limit the growth and reproduction of the plants it grazes on.

And that's life. You can't have no impact. You can't be so "good" in your behavior that it has no effect. You can't not use resources.

And I kind of feel like feeling guilty just for living is kind of counterproductive. Kind of energy-sucking. Kind of removes the joy from things - if you're so busy feeling guilty that a salmon had to die to feed you, you can't enjoy the fact that it tastes good or is nourishing.

(And I almost think that some of the more "indigenous people" type beliefs - for example, I've read some Native American tribes "thanked" the animal that gave up its life so they could eat it and live - might make more sense here. Or thanking whatever higher power you believe in for the availability of food. Because being wracked with guilt seems so counterproductive to me.)

I also think all of this guilt is a byproduct of a couple of things in our modern lives. First of all, so few things that used to be "wrong" are seen as "wrong" any more - even things like (for example) impregnating a woman and then skipping town, leaving her to have to try to raise the kid alone. Even stuff like that - where it's been shown that in the vast majority of cases it's clearly detrimental for a kid to grow up in a single-parent family - both in terms of the kid's social development and also the fact that the kid tends to grow up under less prosperous conditions. But there's not the stigma attached to it there once was - used to be, the guy would at least CONSIDER "making an honest woman of her" and manning up and taking on the role of father, even though he might not want it at first.

But now - fathers are seen in many circles as basically disposable. A provider of sperm to get the next generation going. So if they skip out- no biggie. And if they do stay and marry the woman and help raise the kid, it's seen as OK to ridicule them or disrespect them. (This is totally off the topic but I HATE the "stupid dad" commercials - where the man is shown as clueless or foolish and has to be put straight by his much-smarter wife or kids. That's no more fair than the "ditsy woman" ads of years ago, or the "woman driver" jokes that used to be a staple of comedy routines).

And so - in the vacuum created by society redefining what used to be "sinful" as "not so bad" or "but there were other circumstances involved..." or even, in some circles, as "OK" - new sins have to be found. And the sin of needing resources to live seems to be one of them.

I think the other part is that we've gotten so far from the sort of subsistence living our ancestors did that many people imagine the pre-Industrial-Revolution times as sort of a golden age - almost a Before the Fall type era.

And, my friends, it was not so.

I have read enough history to know that I am very, very glad to live in the 21st century. I have already talked about my appreciation that vaccines and antibiotics and pasteurization and modern dentistry are a part of my world. (If it were not for antibiotics, I might be dead. Seriously. I had scarletina as a child and in the pre-antibiotic days some did die from it. I also had strep throat numerous times, which could kill as well).

But I am also glad that the water I have to drink comes from a tap and is clear and free of parasites. And that if I cut my hand while working in the yard, I can wash it out with soap and water and be almost 100% sure to avoid infection. I am glad that I can control the climate where I live by using a dial mounted on the wall, and that instead of having to chop wood to keep warm, I pay someone to provide natural gas into my house. I am glad I spend my summers in air-conditioning rather than lying in a perspiring, enervated heap on the sofa. (Another aside: how did women in the Victorian and other earlier eras manage? Where they were supposed to wear corsets and petticoats and floorlength dresses and tall boots even in the summer? I'm actually kind of amazed the South was even settled by people before the advent of air conditioning. I cannot imagine trying to function on a 95 degree day in all the kit that women were formerly expected to wear, indoors, with virtually no air circulation.)

But I think perhaps some of the folk who feel guilty - who would return to an earlier way of living - don't think about that.

(I also don't camp. To paraphrase an old Jackie Mason joke, my people were Irish farmers and herders. They spent enough nights sleeping out in the cold, on rocky hillsides. Why should I PAY to do something like that now, when I have a nice house and a nice bed?)

And there's another issue - just how much pollution do we actually generate, anyway? I've seen recent figures for human-generated CO2 that are considerably lower than most natural sources - and are considerably lower than what most of the guilt-mongers would have you believe. So I don't know. I hate it when people tell me I should turn my thermostat up to 80 degrees in the summer - I might as well sit outside in the shade if I'm going to do that.

The other thing that bugs me is when people start wanting to prescribe what others can or "should" do.

I'm perfectly fine with people making choices for themselves, based on what they believe or want to do. (standard disclaimer: provided it is legal and doesn't disturb the others in their area). If you want to be a vegan, God bless you. Have at it. I might even have a few recipes I could share.

But don't expect me to become one as well. And don't keep hammering at me, don't keep making snide comments about the food I eat, don't keep doing the "poor cows!" or "poor chickens!" thing to me.

Because that's childish. And it also pisses me off.

I've run into this kind of attitude on some of the craft blogs. You'd think craftbloggers would be happy fun tolerant people. And most of them are. But some of them unfortunately give off a little bit of the stink of "I'm better than you because..." because they (a) only use recycled materials or stuff they buy at a thrift shop or (b) only use locally-produced stuff or (c) only buy the barest minimum of what they need to finish a project, and don't buy anything new until that project's done or (d) would never, ever, in a million years buy supplies from a (gasp) evil corporate CHAIN.

And again - if that's how they want to live, fine with me. But then they have to go and diss other people who choose to do differently. Look, I want to tell them, I live in a small small town. Even if I drive (another no-no) a half-hour to the next biggest town, my craft-shop choices are two big evil corporate chains.

It's a particular sort of mania, I think, that some people develop - the idea of "it works for me, therefore, everyone else on Earth should do it." You see it sometimes with people who follow a particular diet. Back when Atkins was in full swing, a lot of my friends were doing it. They'd boast about how much weight they lost, how great they felt, how carbs should be outlawed or treated as a controlled substance. (Seriously - some people actually used the term "addiction."). Then they'd look at me and go, "You know? You should try Atkins! You'd feel so much better." (Never mind that I didn't complain of feeling anything less than fine). I finally had to start telling people that if I had to eat eggs before 10 am, it made me hurl. (Because on Atkins, eggs are the main breakfast choice). Usually that shuts the diet-pushers up - telling them that something central to their "plan" makes you spew.

But I see that too with the low-consumption people. Yes, I think it's wonderful for you that you buy your clothes at thrift stores. Sorry, not something I can do. (especially not for shoes. Ew.) But please- if you want to keep me as a friend, if you don't want me to totally tune you out, don't tell me how I "should" be doing what you're doing.

It's even creeping into the media and that drives me up the wall. It's just another part of the whole "panic" mode that the media seems to want to develop in people. (I suppose it is because it gets ratings.) It's the whole "OH NOES!" phenomenon: "OH NOES GAS PRICES ARE GOING UP!!!" or "OH NOES THEY'RE RATIONING RICE!" or something.

And you know? Even on someone trained in critical thinking, it does have an effect.

I had been thinking earlier this week that I should go to the Target in the next town over. I had one of those "10% off your entire shopping day" coupons that expired the middle of next week. And I wanted an additional bookcase (they have some decent cheap folding bookcases) because I was tired of stacking my recent book purchases next to my bedroom closet door. And I needed a bunch of other "little" stuff like aspirin and leg-razors and laundry soap and all that boring stuff that 10% off of would be a nice perk for. And I had a 40% off coupon for Jo-Ann Fabrics (and even if all I bought was a spool of thread - well, since it's right near Target it's worth going in). And I wanted to go to the natural-foods store and get some nuts and seeds and stuff to make granola again.

So I planned the trip for Saturday.

Then I watched a bunch of news.

Then I got to thinking: but what if the economy gets worse? What if food starts to cost even more? Would the $150 or so I spent this weekend be something I'd live to regret? What about gas prices? Could I afford to spend (by my estimation) $15 to drive down there and back?

And I almost canceled the trip.

Then I thought some more: I really wanted that bookcase. And I needed the other stuff. And I decided that, well, if the cost of food went up more, I'd just have to deal with it. (And I needed aspirin. And I needed laundry soap. And if they were going up too, better to buy them now...)

So I went. But it irks me that there seems to be that attitude out there in the media, of "let's scare the rubes" - sort of like one of the neighbor kids I grew up with who liked to poke holes in anthills and watch the ants run around in a panic.

So I don't know. I think we're all going to have to be kind of careful in the coming months and watch the news and go "What are they telling this, and how does it compare with my reality?" I don't know. I do know I don't like being told, "hole up in your house, turn off the lights and air conditioning, prepare for food rationing or at least impossibly high prices, everything's bad, everyone's going to suffer, pain, misery, horrible stuff..." Because I don't operate like that, and if I begin to get sucked into that mode it makes me angry.