Wednesday, October 01, 2008

oh, that's HAWT.

I go through periodic bouts of skin problems. Mostly something like allergic dermatitis; while I'm not one of those people who can only use unscented glycerin soap, ever, or who has to avoid nickel in any of its forms, I do periodically get bouts of itchiness.

It's often related to ragweed season. It's ragweed season now. Yay.

So I'm itching. But worse than normally. I was actually getting welts the other day where I was scratching. (I know: "don't do that." It's really hard not to).

So I'm having to take steps to fix things. One thing is putting skin lotion on. The one I have smells like coconuts mixed with mint. And it's very gloopy. Oh, that's HOT.

(But it does have vitamin E and it does stop the itching).

And I bathed the other night in baking-soda water. Yeah, HOT. (I don't know about the medicinal quality of this, but my mom suggested it, and it seemed to work).

And now, I am off to bathe in something called colloidal oatmeal, which the campus nurse recommended. Oh hot hot hot. Just take my panties and call me Paris Hilton.

I swan, at the rate things are going, I WILL be the female version of Felix Ungar (with a little Niles Crane thrown in for good measure) before I hit 40.

I've also been told that stress could be aggravating it. YA THINK? So maybe I need to go into the place where Bureaucracy Wench (the one who made me cry the other day) works and scratch all my dry skin off onto her floor. Yeah, that'd be HOT too.

Seriously, I'm glad I don't have a totally buff boyfriend because it would be too much for me to keep up with right now with my oatmeal and coconut encrusted skin and my weird flakes and welts. He'd probably run screaming the other direction.

1 comment:

The Fifth String said...

Oh hot hot hot. Just take my panties and call me Paris Hilton.

Oh, please do NOT say things like that. P***s H****n is not "hot". Skanks are NOT hot, except for maybe teenage boys whose hormones control them, perhaps not even then. I actually don't think she is attractive in any way, even superficially physically. Skank city.