campaign II

Just over a week ago (man, it seems a lot longer than that) I commented on the "Ozzy 4 President!" I saw written on someone's car window.

And I asked for slogans, other than my not-so-great

"Ozzy: because sadly, we COULD do worse"

and

"Ozzy: why NOT a foul-mouthed, drug-addled rocker for a change"

Well, Kate P. suggested:

"Ozzy: the scandalous behavior's up front" (sigh. The more things change, the more they stay the same...I don't know whether to laugh over the fact that the latest disgrace involves someone from I-Da-Ho or to cry over it)

Ozzy: because political speeches go down better when they're barely intelligible"

And Joel said:

"Ozzy: watch what he does to that old Clinton bat!"

(And this is kind of sad - I first read that as Clinton'S bat - as in, a particular body part of the male half of the Clinton team that got a lot of press back in the late 90s - and I was kind of "the heck?" until I re-read it)

I came up with two more, also:

Ozzy: because fat, drunk, and stupid apparently IS a way to go through life.

(That said: I'm not at all convinced Ozzy is stupid. Makes bad choices in some areas of his life, certainly. But the fact that he's still alive - and still making money off of his persona - suggests a certain level of canniness).

But my favorite? The simplest of all:

Ozzy: Why the $#)(%*# not? (Which could translate on radio or tv to "Ozzy, why the BLEEEEEP not?" Unless the ad's running on HBO, of course.)

(I feel moved to make a disclaimer: no, I don't think Ozzy would be a viable candidate in any way, and there's not just that must-be-born-here requirement that's making me think that. However...given some of the candidates we've seen in the past (coughKucinichcough), I do think there's something humorous about the thought of Ozzy running...)