foolish economy?

Well, my college has decided on a new way to save some money. They've eliminated the student workers who go around and check lab equipment (like the eye-wash stations) and asked the faculty to do it instead.

So now, every month, we're required to go into our labs and check the hoods, the eyewash stations, make sure there are no fire hazards (??? Is a poster on the wall a fire hazard? Technically it is. Is a box of equipment a fire hazard? Technically, yes - the box is cardboard and cardboard burns). We also have to test the safety showers. For which, ahem, no drains were installed (oversight or costcutting? I don't know).

So we now have a big plastic trash can to lug around and discharge the showers into.

At least we don't have to test the fire extinguishers ourselves. (But if we did? I'd bring in a twelve-pack of pop every month and treat everyone to a cold pop, Mythbusters style. [alcohol is banned on campus, plus I don't drink, so it wouldn't be beer]).

This is beginning to get ridiculous. We are really not hurting that badly for money as a college, certainly not more than we were a few years ago when we managed to have someone whose job it was to do all this stuff. But this is just one of those needles-under-the-fingernails things. (We have a CFO who LOVES to save money, even if it means burdening people with additional unpaid chores or tacking on additional "user fees" the students should not have to pay)

It's just another task. We've already had four or five new tasks loaded on to us - some shoved off of the plate of someone else, some that were developed brand new as a way to promote the college.

My biggest concern is that I have periodic trouble with my shoulders and upper back - an old injury from swimming in high school. What if I re-injure myself lifting the heavy drum filled with the discharge water? Will they pay for my PT or whatever I need, or will they just shrug and say I should have done it more carefully or asked someone not prone to injury to do it for me.

And I just object to having more and more little chores. They want us to be "outstanding" teachers. They want us to be "available" to the students to the tune of 10 hours a week. They want us to do ever-increasing amounts of research. They want us to serve on campus committees. They want us to represent the college publicly by doing "good works" out in the community.

What's next? We do our own custodial work?

I'm sorry, but there's a set number of hours in a day. I usually get here at 7 and leave between 4 and 5 (sometimes later) - plus sometimes put in time on the weekends and in the evenings. Every additional task I'm asked to do takes time from my other tasks (or requires me to come in earlier and stay later, which I'm kind of unwilling to do. I know as a single person there are those who believe I'm not entitled to a life outside of work, but I disagree).

If they want us to do everything, they cannot expect excellence. I can do a few things well or a lot of things crappily.

And if I hurt my shoulder lugging around gallons upon gallons of water from testing the showers, I want them to pay for a massage therapist and rehab exercises.

(What I really want them to do? Hire a student. There are many students all over campus who'd be happy to make some cash doing that testing.

....actually, that gives ol' capitalist me an idea. I can just sidestep the bureaucracy (until they expressly tell me I can't) and pay someone to do the monthly testings for me. It would take all of 15 minutes to do - I think $10, cash, would certainly be a sufficient incentive.)

Another thought: what does this do, liability-wise, having all of these disparate, untrained people doing the monitoring of equipment? I certainly don't know all the ins and outs of inspecting a fume hood to be sure it's working right. I haven't done the safety-shower trial yet because I'm not sure I know how to turn it off. (And one of the cardinal rules of things like that is to be sure you know how to turn it off before you turn it on. I don't even know why we have a shower in my lab; we never work with chemicals hazardous enough to require a strip-down and scrub if someone got them on them.)

What if someone needs an eyewash station, and it turns out the person who inspected it was doing it wrong, and the station didn't work? Wouldn't the college be liable?

Maybe this idea is just bad enough that it'll go away.