Maybe time for Caller ID?

I hate it when people call and beg for money.

I am a graduate of three different institutions that could do this - my prep school, my undergrad school, my graduate school.

My prep school has never called me. They have sometimes sent requests in the mail, which a person can ignore or choose to respond to as they will. I think that's a classier way to go. And I do send them some money, earmarked for different things, because I received a good education there and I'd like to think I'm helping other people to receive a good education there, now.

I also send money to the Biology department of my graduate school. I have happy memories of the program, and I also received good instruction and guidance. They HAVE called me, but it's always very low key, none of the smarmy back-room salesman high-pressure tactics.

I have NEVER sent money to my undergrad institution. First of all, I don't think they do a good job shepherding the money they have - they tend to spend it on "discretionary funds" for administrators with weird political motivations. Or they use it to chase that ever-elusive unicorn called "diversity." Often that was done by offering scholarships to people who fit whatever was the fashionable group du jour.

I was also put off by how little guidance and help your average undergrad received - basically, course-counseling consisted of handing me a sheet of paper listing what I needed to take, and wishing me "good luck!"

(Where I teach now, we are expected to sit down with students for at least 15 minutes and discuss with them - what are their strengths, what are their weaknesses. We need to look at their transcripts to see if they really are as good in math as they claim to be. We talk to them about whether early morning classes are okay, and what their work schedule is like, and what they want to do when they get out of school. That doesn't mean that someone NEVER gets a bad schedule or winds up in a class that they're not ready for, but I think it happens less than at my big undergraduate institution).

So, I've never given money to the school.

(I'm also put off by their tactics - they call up and ask for the moon, and then gradually let you "argue them down"...so it gets to a point where they're like, "$50? Can't you give $50, you cheapskate?" And I hate that.

Also, once, when I was in grad school, they called me up asking for $1000 for the "dean's discretionary fund." I laughed out loud in the guy's ear. And then I said: "Man, I am in GRADUATE SCHOOL. I am a TEACHING ASSISTANT. $1000 is an ENTIRE MONTH'S salary for me." I didn't go into my objection to basically giving this dean a slush fund to spend on whatever pet project she desired.)

So anyway: I've never given them money. But they keep trying.

Last night, the phone rang about 8:30. I was just gearing up to do my nightly yoga workout (but hadn't started yet).

On the other end, there was that brief silence. I should have recognized that and hung up right away.

Then, some chipper, probably-19-year-old voice comes on, asks me to "verify" all of my information for the alumni association.

And she keeps chatting me up. I hate being chatted up by someone that I know is going to ask me for money. She asks me what I do, then says, "Oh, I'm thinking of becoming a professor! Do you have any advice for me?" I didn't give any, partly because I was starting to become irritated but partly because I felt that she was probably reading off of some script.

Then, she drops the bomb: would you like to give $250?

No, I say. I can't do that.

She goes through some jazz about their "federal and state" funding having been cut 50% (first off - can that be true? We haven't experienced any federal cuts. And second off - cry me a river. We've got more "deferred maintenance" on my campus than you can shake a crescent wrench at. And we currently don't have a regular custodian in my building - dust bunnies roll down the halls like tumbleweeds)

I'm sorry, I explain. I've already earmarked all the money I can give this year. (Not strictly true - if there's a major natural disaster or bad event somewhere, I'd be able to scrape together something to give to Mercy Corps or the Salvation Army, but I've already designated all the money I PLAN to give).

She continues about how important "private support" is.

I explain to her that (as per the questions she asked before), I wasn't entirely satisfied with my time at her school, and I don't feel like giving them money.

SHE WOULD NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. It was incredibly frustrating. Obviously, they're paid by the hour and not on commission, or else she'd have hung up as soon as she realized she wasn't going to get anything out of me.

So finally, I hung up the phone on her.

And immediately after, felt incredibly bad - I know about that job. I saw people do it when I went to school there. The campus newspaper used to advertise for it. It's basically minimum wage, you sit in a basement and cold-call alumni to ask them for money. It's telemarketing, but telemarketing putting a brave face on itself because it's "fundraising."

And I felt bad the rest of the evening - did I hang up too hard? Did I hurt her ear? Was she kvetching about me to the girl next to her, and rolling her eyes about me (not that I should care). Was her supervisor going to call me to ask me why I hung up on her?

I wound up unplugging the phone, just in case.

I was so rattled that I wound up having to go through the "centering" practice three times before starting the yoga workout, and I was never totally at ease in it.

But, dammit! I pay a lot of money for my landline. (I can't go to JUST cell phone, cell phone reception is iffy enough where I live that I can't do that). I'm on the federal no-call list so telemarketers can't call me, but charities can. I almost NEVER give to ANY group that calls me on the phone, but they still do. And I hate the pressure tactics that some of them use - like the nameless university I'm talking about here. No, I am NOT ever going to give $100 or more to some fund that calls me on the phone asking. No, I don't want to go through some kind of crazy Dutch auction to have someone try to argue me down to a level where they think I'll fork out money. I especially don't want to have to explain THREE SEPARATE WAYS that I am not giving any money.

I should write a letter to the alumni association and complain. (Except, I'm technically not a member, because I don't pay the dues). But - is it too much to ask not to have one's evening interrupted by some little chit of a thing begging me to send money so it can be spent on, I don't know, researching the extramarital habits of kids living in co-ed dorms?